Friday, May 18, 2007

All of That Time in Hell To Spend

Well, that was weird.

Some weeks back, I'd posted an ad on Craigslist for my Standard Bondage Scene®. You've seen me go on about it before, and you've seen the pictures. It involves a blindfold, some restraints, usually some rope, some spanking, some relatively aggressive tit work, and my cock entering various orifices of the bottom. I leave the front door unlocked. The bottom is instructed to wear jeans, commando, and to enter the door, remove his shirt, don the blindfold, and announce his presence.

The standardization of this scene would trouble me a bit if I were the type to think about it much. I really don't think that I lack sexual imagination (where "sexual imagination" means the desire to innovate and try new things, not that I make things up; I do have a rich fantasy life when I'm elongating the archbishop, but when I'm talking about my sex life on this here blog, the only things I make up are occasional details to preserve anonymity), but I am something of a creature of habit, especially in areas where I don't have a natural affinity. I'm not really very dominant by nature. I do like to direct the action when I'm having sex, and I'm fairly aggressive and up front about what I want, but having, for example, a bondage script to fall back on allows me to feel comfortable with the actions. Otherwise, I'd constantly have to think of things to talk about. It is infinitely easier to fasten on the wrist restraints and bite down on a nipple than to think of yet another synonym for "submissive." Even with my extensive vocabulary.

Anyway. Some weeks, maybe a couple of months ago, I posted the ad, and I got the usual moderate number of responses, most of which led to nothing. I think I did get one fairly immediate hook up out of it, and I got this married guy who responded to say that he hadn't done this sort of thing before but that he desperately wanted to be introduced to the wonderful world of bondage. And butt sex. There were a number of emails back and forth, and there was the usual exchange of pictures. And the usual scheduling issues.

Sometimes I think about giving up sex with married men. It's not a question of any sort of moral misgivings. I'm a very moral person in many areas of my life, but sexually I'm fairly amoral. (Morality should not be confused with politeness, however. If I say that I'm going to do something, I follow through. I don't tell a guy I'm going to fuck him and then not show up. Not showing up isn't immoral: it's just rude.) Or at least I don't subscribe to conventional notions of sexual morality. You can certainly tell me that it's immoral to sleep with a guy who has a wife at home, but be prepared for me to ask you to defend your position on some basis other than religion. Religious dicta are binding only on those who consent to be bound by them, and it's a pretty safe bet that I haven't agreed to follow who or what you've agreed to follow. And if you try to tell me that by fucking a married man, I'm being a homewrecker, I'm only going to laugh at you.

The reason I consider giving up sex with married men is purely pragmatic: they're very unreliable, and they may be more trouble than they're worth. On the plus side, they're really good kissers. So I've only given up married men who don't kiss. Life is all about compromise, after all.

Anyway, because of the scheduling difficulties and the inexperience and a certain (understandable) reticence on his part, I'd filed this guy in the unlikely category. Which means that when I'd get an email from him after a couple of weeks of silence, I'd send back the email equivalent of a noncommittal grunt. When you're dealing with budding submissives, the noncommittal grunt is both the strategy that least puts you out and the strategy that's most likely to lead to success. The budding submissive has to come to you of his own free will, and you don't want to discourage his development either by appearing too eager or by ignoring him altogether.

Married Guy finally said that he could be free Thursday (i.e., last) night, and I told him that if he could show up at 10:15, I'd have my way with him. I asked him what his limits were, and he replied "My limits are that I've never done this before." After some further inquiry, he decided that his limits were safe only and not too rough. Pretty easy: safe is the only way I play, and "not too rough" is open to a great deal of interpretation. I also understood the set of limits that he couldn't articulate (it would not have occurred to him, for example, to say "no shaving," but I know better than to send a married man back to his wife without some of his body hair, no matter how much better he might look with a trim).

I was still sensing some reticence on his part and when Thursday morning arrived, I hadn't heard a response to the most recent email, and he hadn't asked for the address, so I emailed him and asked him whether we were still on ("We still on for tonight at 10:15?"). He replied that he was very nervous. ("I can if you can. VERY apprehensive though.") I've been having a lot of sex while b&c's been out of the country, and I had an especially volcanic last weekend (still processing Saturday night), and I was a little bit tired, so I didn't really care whether I had sex with this guy, I just wanted to know for sure, so I wrote back, "I don't make anybody do anything he doesn't want to do. You decide whether your desire outweighs your apprehension. If so, let me know, and I'll give you the address. If not, we'll just forget it. It's cool either way." He replied that he really wanted it, and I sent him the address.

I left the office a bit after six last night, grabbed some dinner, made it to church by 7 for the audition of yet another choral director candidate, stayed for the regular choir rehearsal, checked my voicemail, called EFU back to ask her to email me the list of things she needed for her weekend retreat, called the ex back to have a ten-minute discussion about the schedules for EFU and YFU, and then drove swiftly in order to get home by ten so that I could shower and get the toys ready.

I was sitting at the downstairs computer and muttering to myself ("What the fuck, Odin? How many sacrifices am I going to have to make before you give me the fucking Mjollnir already?" Don't ask, ok?) when I heard the door open. After a minute or so, I heard "Hello?" This, of course, is a major breach of etiquette. A more experienced sub would say "I'm ready, sir," but what are you gonna do? At least he'd followed the other instructions. I went out and pointed him towards the wall, pulled his arms behind his back, put the restraints on his wrist, fastened the restraints together, and marched him up the stairs.

What is it that makes a fifty-something married guy who never plays with men get his nipple pierced? Is that standard practice among breeders nowadays? Does his wife just write that off as a midlife crisis and be grateful that it wasn't a mistress and a Ferrari instead? I don't know, but I do like pierced nipples, and he had nice nipples (and a decent body overall), I let him stand by the side of the bed, with his hands behind his back, and I started to pinch both nips. He got noticeably hard very quickly, and I started to work them harder. It looked like he was simultaneously enjoying it and trying hard not to complain. Good for him.

I unbuttoned his jeans from behind and pulled them halfway down his ass then shoved him forward onto the bed (I have a memory foam topper, which makes for a soft landing) and pulled them the rest of the way off. I took his belt out of his jeans and ran it under his nose and along his back and then I started to spank him, lightly. He was moaning a lot, and I gave him a few slaps with an open palm, and then I unclipped the restraints and rolled him over.

What is it that makes a fifty-something married guy who never plays with men get a PA? Is that something he does for clitoral stimulation? (Ewwwwww! I feel unclean. Excuse me while I go vomit, take a shower, and make a burnt offering.) I didn't even ask. After all, this guy wasn't interested in having me pay any attention to his cock. I just moved him around on the bed and fastened each of the restraints to a rope leading to one of the corners. I had his head at the foot of the bed, and I moved him back so that his head was dangling over the edge, and then I started to feed him my cock.

All in all, I think I believe the guy when he tells me that he'd never been fucked before last night and that he'd done almost nothing with men. But for a guy that inexperienced, he certainly took to cocksucking like a duckling to a pond. He seemed very hungry for it and pushed himself farther down the bed. When I got deeper into his mouth and reached down and pinched his nipples, his whole body went rigid and he sucked harder.

I didn't fuck his face for long, though. It was already late when we started, and I figured that it was going to take a while to prepare his ass for fucking, so I pulled out and lay next to him and started kissing him while I pinched his nipples harder. He seemed to like that a lot. Then I got up near the top of the bed and pushed his knees towards his chest, spread his cheeks, and started licking his ass. And here it was clear (from his loud and eager reaction) that no one had ever done that to him before. I'd instructed him to clean his ass carefully, and he'd done a good job, and (unlike most married guys) he didn't object at all when I went back to kissing him after I'd had my tongue in his ass.

I went for a finger next, and I was surprised not to meet much resistance. I didn't ask, but I'd guess he's done some work with dildos. More kissing, and then I got some lube and went for two fingers. I was lying on my side right next to him and kissing him while I pushed my fingers into him. Two fingers went in easily, and even three fingers really didn't have a tough time getting inside.

I went for my purple dildo next. (Where did I get that purple dildo, anyway? I'm pretty sure that I must have appropriated it from some submissive who forgot to take it with him after I fucked him. Anyway, it's kind of moderate sized, relatively soft rubber. And purple.) I got a little more resistance, but it still wasn't tough to get it in his ass. I left it in and went back to the head of the bed, pulled his head back over the edge, and started to fuck his face again. Obviously, he wasn't in a position to articulate his feelings, but his actions gave me to understand that he was having a good time. I pulled his legs forward and reached down and started moving the dildo in and out of his ass at the same time. He appeared to like that even more.

It was time to go for the real fuck now, I gave him some more lube, but a bit of lube on my cock, and put on the condom. Since he was blindfolded, I tried to rip open the package loudly. After I got it on, I put my cock to where his hand was tied and let him feel the latex so that he'd know I was gloved. Then I got back on the bed, pushed his knees up to his chest, put his feet against my shoulders, lined my cock up with his hole and began to push.

Then I got some resistance. I was already going in slow, and I'd prepared him pretty well, but my cock is wider than my purple dildo, and I always have to go in slow, even with guys who get fucked all the time. He hadn't said anything earlier (except for the occasional "yes, sir" in response to direct questions, but he grimaced and asked me to go slow. And then he said it was too painful. I knew that was a temporary situation, so I told him to relax, and then I said, "It's easier if you push back." And he started to push against my shoulders with his feet. "With your ass, boy. It's easier if you push back with your ass." And it was. There was some more grimacing, but there were no more complaints, and I got deeper inside him and started to move back and forth slowly.

We fucked for a long time. It was certainly fun, and he got more and more into it as we went on, but he wasn't all that tight, so I knew that I could fuck him as long and as hard as I wanted without having to think about controlling my ejaculation. (It was entirely different from the last guy I had tied up, who was so tight that I almost couldn't get into him and then fucking him was so tight and so good that I still think about it sometimes when I'm taming the haberdasher.) After maybe fifteen minutes with him on his back, and after I'd gotten to the point of pounding pretty hard, I gave him a break and we made out some more. Then I had him, briefly, on his side, but that was awkward because his wrists were still tied to the bed. I unclipped him, flipped him over, shoved a pillow under him, reclipped him, pushed his legs together and took him from behind. He really liked that, and I plowed him diligently from the outset of that position. After another fifteen minutes, I was sweating profusely and we were still going at it. I'd shake my head every minute or so to fling some sweat off. He was moaning pretty quietly, but when I asked him whether he liked it, his response was enthusiastically affirmative. I also asked him whether he was sure that he'd never been fucked, and he stuck to his story. I told him he was a natural.

At about 11:30, I had had enough of fucking him, so I pulled out, pulled off the condom and unfastened the restraints from the ropes. Then I lay back on the bed and pushed his head down on my cock. He sucked on it a bit and then he made some comment about how he needed to be in better shape for sex. I asked him what he meant and he said "Sex for me usually lasts only a minute." Well, ok, I can see how that differs from sex with me, but, really, I was the one doing all the work. He spent half of the fuck with his knees on his chest and the other half on his stomach, but in all the positions, I was the one doing the pumping and sweating.

Anyway, after some more cocksucking and some more making out, he started to say that he really needed to be going. I put him on his back and made out with him some more to shut him up, and he complied, but then he told me that he needed to get home because he'd told his wife that he was at a softball game. I had to agree that that excuse would be wearing pretty thin by 11:45 on a Thursday evening. Besides, while I was rock hard, I was nowhere near cumming, so I wasn't feeling the sort of the sort of frustration you feel when someone stops when you're close. I considered jerking off and cumming all over his chest, but that would have taken a while, so I stood him up and brought him his jeans and belt. He put them on, and I kissed him, and he thanked me for the fuck. Then I pushed him out in the hallway, closed the bedroom door between us, and told him he could take off the blindfold. I got dressed and then went downstairs to collect the blindfold and lock the door behind him. He had already driven off.

He seemed genuinely grateful, and I've no doubt that he'll lose his apprehension and bottom for almost any cock he can find from here on out. I doubt that I'll hear from him again. I don't fully understand the submissive mind, but I suspect that he'll feel that my non-ejaculation was his fault and be too embarrassed to ask for more. There's no point in explaining to him that I don't really care that much about the cum shot. And, in any case, while it was mildly diverting, I wouldn't go out of my way to fuck him again. I'd probably do it if asked, though. He was, after all, a good kisser.