Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Well, Duh

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

cock (23x)
ass (19x)
sex (16x)
gay (12x)
fuck (11x)
cum (6x)
piss (5x)
cocksucker (4x)
porn (3x)
lesbian (2x)
shit (1x)

Via Franck, who is rightly outraged at his own NC-17 rating. I'm outraged, too. What has he done to earn his NC-17? Not a damned thing. On his very best day, he's not even half as filthy as I am on my very worst day. I work hard for my NC-17 rating, but apparently, they'll also hand one out to any cute gay guy with killer abs. What a world.

I'm assuming that the little application that gives the ratings only looks at a small portion of the blog. The idea that I've only used "cocksucker" four times is laughable. [Ok, I went and checked. Twenty-one times, not including this post. That is still pretty pathetic. I need -- and deserve -- to get more head.]

In other cocksucker-related news, a young man whose schedule has not meshed well with mine and I finally managed to hook up last night. We had played once before, early last fall, on what I thought was the evening before b&c was due back from two weeks in Italy. In fact, it was the evening he was due back, and he walked in on us. At that point, the only thing on b&c's agenda was a quick shower and a long sleep to get over the plane trip, and he didn't mind at all, of course, that I was fucking a stranger in the den, but I felt that the scheduling error was a bit rude to both b&c and S. I apologized (after the sex was over) all around and was told not to worry about it. Then S. said that he'd like to get together again but that he was off for three weeks in Japan. Somehow, we never managed to reconnect until he answered a CL ad I placed a couple of weeks ago.

S. is, I believe, half Japanese. The other half is defensive lineman. He's the epitome of large but solid, except for his cock, which is, well, tiny. Especially in context. As I've said before, I appreciate small cocks, not that S. ever has any intention of letting me suck his. He's all bottom.

Anyway, last night, I met him at the door, and, impressed once again by his combination of bulk and submission, started to make out with him. I reached up under his shirt and grabbed his nipples, and he was putty in my hands. I pushed him up the stairs, playing with his ass all the way.

I tossed S. on the bed and climbed on top of him, and we continued with the (excellent) kissing, while I ran my hands all over his body. He very much appreciated having his ass smacked, and who am I not to give a boy what he wants? After I'd chewed on his nipples for a bit, it was fairly obvious that he was hungry for cock, so I let him undo my shorts and pull my rod out through my boxers.

S. is truly a cocksucker of extraordinary ability. You can leave him alone and he'll do a great job, or you can grab his head and shove it down on the cock, and he won't miss a beat. Having your cock sucked is almost always a good feeling, of course, but I rarely feel like I could cum just from being sucked without significant additional effort on my part. It was clear that if I had left S. to his own devices, he'd have gotten me there fairly quickly.

But as much as he appears to love sucking cock, S. really wants one thing. I got him ready for the one thing by pulling his ass around and eating it while he continued to go down on me. After a while, I introduced a couple of fingers, and when he was making appropriately needy noises, I handed him a condom, and he put it on me.

After a brief, ultimately successful, hunt for the lube, I had him ready. I put him on his stomach and eased into him from behind. He hadn't seemed all that tight to me when I was fingering him, so I was a bit surprised that I had to go slow, but I'm always sensitive to the needs of the bottom (it helps when he says "go slow!), so I took a couple of minutes to work all the way in.

Then the pounding. I did him for four or five minutes in that position, fairly intensely, and he said he wanted to be "on my back with my legs behind my head," so I rolled him over and pushed his legs forward and re-entered him. I grabbed his feet and pushed them farther forward to get the good angle for the direct prostate pound, and then I bounced him up and down on the mattress while I thrust into him hard. He tightened up nicely, and we had a great time.

I had had very little sleep the night before, and we had probably only been fucking for fifteen minutes when I felt like I needed a break. I was still fully erect, but S. is a big guy, and shoving him around was hard work. I pulled out and lay on my back, and he started jerking me off and sucking me through the condom. I think that he thought I wanted to be finished off that way, but I was really just catching my breath. What he was doing felt really great, though, so I let him do it for a while before I told him to ride me.

Having a defensive lineman sit on one's cock is a bit intimidating, so we didn't do that for very long before I pushed him back on his back and pounded him that way for another five minutes. I was again feeling tired (though still rock hard: who knows?), so I pulled out and we made out for a while longer and then he went back to jerking me off.

He did that for a long while, and I was feeling totally blissed out but not especially close to orgasm. Both our phones had gone off a couple of times while we were playing, and I knew his was probably work and mine was probably my daughter asking for a ride later. He whispered "what can I do for you," and I told him that what he was doing was great. Then a few minutes later, I stopped him, and we kissed and bear hugged for a couple of minutes, and we were done.

He called into his office, and I called EFU back. He said he had to go in. I asked him what he did, and he said "retail." Then he said that he was in management and that his chief of staff had just quit and that his job was a nightmare. I'm not sure what retail means, but the guy's about twenty-five, and he drives what appears to be a vintage Mercedes, so I figure either he runs the family hotel or he's a kept man. Either way, he's drama-free and a lot of fun in the sack. He put his t-shirt back on, pointed to it and said, "What do you think this is?" I looked at it and said, "The Communist Party," and he flashed me two thumbs up, telling me that I had passed his intelligence test and that a disturbing proportion of people he met and worked with had no idea who the people on the t-shirt were. I was thinking, "Dude, you could have asked me to derive the quadratic formula. You think that was a tough question?" but I just smiled and said that perhaps there were generational factors at work in the ignorance he encountered.

Anyway, he said that he wants to play again, and of course I'm game. He's a great kisser, and you just don't find a cocksucker that good every day, so I reckon I'll have him back when our schedules mesh again. Hopefully that'll be this year.


franck said...

I'm not sure that I was outraged, but your indignation on my behalf is cute. And thanks for the compliment, too ;-)

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

I also have an NC-17 status blog, apparently mine has penis 19 times, that's less than I expected, I guess I'll just have to say PENIS more often now. PENIS.

I'm only 24, but I'd have guess something similar to 'communist party', but I would have given him a 'WTF look' too.