1. You do not get any sort of meaningful hits at all, let alone the obvious parody that begins "Sometimes it's hard to be a bottom," if you google "Stand by Your Top." How am I to make sense of a universe that doesn't have this but does have the gay rodeo? Also, I am a little embarrassed to admit that I have never been to a drag show, but are there no C&W drag artists? And if there are, how is "Stand by Your Top" not a standard? Are there intellectual property issues? Cole Porter foresaw similar difficulties and wrote "You're the Top" so that the second meaning was obvious.
2. I have had mixed luck with gay Muslims during Ramadan. Leo was over this past Saturday evening, and he told me that he had been trying to resist me because it's more sinful than usual to take it up the ass during Ramadan. I confessed my lack of knowledge of Islam to him; at the same time, I opined that as long as he wasn't receiving oral and swallowing before sundown, I didn't see how mansex was incompatible with the five pillars. I feel bad that he's so conflicted, but the only way I could think to show my concern was to make him cum twice, so after I pounded him as hard as I could (which is pretty hard, I have to say) and made him cum with my cock still up his ass, I gave him only a brief rest before I started to stroke him while we made out and then went down on him. When he got close, I closed my mouth and jerked him to completion, then fed him my load off my mustache. It was fully dark by then, but I think he's still conflicted. Alas.
My other gay Muslim experience came with a guy who contacted me off one of the hook-up sites and then came over and wanted to be fucked but didn't want to kiss and looked positively repulsed at the notion of oral sex. Then he demanded that I undress first. I explained that I wasn't going to get hard if there was no kissing and no oral and he wouldn't even remove his shirt to let me at his nipples, and then I suggested that he'd be happier elsewhere. He concurred. As time goes by, I find that the innocence and, frequently, youth that accompanies inexperience just doesn't compensate for the erratic behavior and lack of technique. Perhaps I'm jaded.
3. The sweet German guy that I wanted to date turned out to be even less available than I had feared, and when he proved entirely unavailable over the weekend (due to work he said, and he was likely telling the truth), I gave up. He kept sending apologetic text messages about his lack of presence, but the tide had turned, and I texted him to say that there was no point in continuing. I felt something very much like nano-heartache when I did that, and I was glad: perhaps I'm not so jaded, after all.
4. I had posted an ad on craigslist for local tops to join in on group sessions. The initial impetus for the ad had been a request from Leo to be taken from both ends, but lots of the bottoms I play with love groups. Unsurprisingly, almost all of the responses I got were from bottoms. One guy claiming to be a top responded, but I couldn't help noticing that he'd replied several times previously to ads seeking a bottom. I decided to take him for a test drive over the weekend. He came hard while he was sitting on my cock, and he was a good kisser, but if he's versatile, I am Marie of Romania.
5. One of the bottoms who replied to that ad was a very cute and fit older pig whom I'd plowed hard a couple of months ago, and when I didn't immediately recognize his address (which was a meaningless combination of letters and numbers) or recall playing with him, he got a little insulted. I apologized, not least because nearly two years ago, I inadvertently blew him off when I forgot to check my cell phone for messages (I also apologized at the time), and he forgave me, or at least he forgave me enough to come over to my place, walk in, remove his clothes, put on the blindfold, and crawl up the stairs and into my bedroom while I waited. Hoo, boy, that was fun. He may not be the greatest kisser in the world (he gets very excited, and it's a little bit like making out with a shark), but what an attitude and an appetite for cock. After an hour or so of sex, including reasonably lengthy fucks in multiple positions, I stroked his remarkably nicely formed cock to completion.
Prior to his showing up, we'd swapped a number of email messages, and I thought there might be some friend potential, so after he came, we chatted for nearly ninety minutes while lying naked in bed, and that was very nice indeed. Sadly, one of us (not me) thinks that Don Quixote is an absolute masterpiece with two entirely compelling main characters, while the other of us (not him) thinks it's a clever but ultimately pointless exercise in hot air, with no characters worthy of regard. This is the sort of difference of opinion that can be difficult to overcome, but perhaps we can be friends, regardless, or at least it can be a good excuse for me to punish him, which he would probably like.
6. My experience with the articulate pig (AP) made me think that what I really want is a small group of guys who get together once a week or once every two weeks for ninety minutes of hot sex followed by ninety minutes of literary discussion, perhaps with snacks. After our session, I expressed this desire to AP, but he agreed with me that it would be very difficult to find any other potential participants who weren't total bottoms. Still, I can't help thinking that The Post-Coital Book Club would make a great title and idea for an erotic novel. I think I'll write it.