Bits and Bobs

Well, let's call him Bob, anyway. I didn't bother to learn his name the first time we hooked up, and that was two or three years ago. I reckon I've fucked him about ten times since then, and he's reliably a two-star lay, but he was on fire yesterday. He'd gotten in touch with me online about ten days earlier, and I'd planned to go over to his place a week earlier, but it didn't pan out for a reason that I can't remember but that was my fault. Anyway, when I got there, he had to come downstairs to let me in, and the elevator had been commandeered by someone moving in (or perhaps out), so we walked up to his fifth floor condo. Nice view. Of his ass, I mean.

Inside his condo, when I began kissing him, he responded with unusual vigor, and it was a very fun time. I figured that he hadn't had sex (or at least cock) in quite some time. We made out in the hallway for a few minutes, and I went at his nips for a while before I pushed him along into the bedroom. As usual, he said nothing. He's very much the strong, silent type (he's a truck driver for a local construction company), but I learned that I can get a little noise out of him by kissing, sucking, and biting the side of his neck, just under his jaw line. He was still dead silent when I fucked him, but that didn't happen for half an hour. I don't usually get nearly so much foreplay out of him, and I wondered idly, as he was going down on me, and I was fingering his ass, whether he was going for a third star. Which is a little silly, really, since it's not like I'm publishing some sort of Guide Michelin of bottoms and by giving me better head and/or ass he'd be increasing the flow of tops to his establishment. I rather doubt that he plays with any other guys. He always claims to be single (divorced) and that the woman who lives with him is just a roommate, but her blouses were on hangers on the bedroom doorknob, the decor in his room is decidedly feminine (and he is decidedly not), and when he said "Go easy" and I asked him for some lube, he fetched it from the top of a very tall dresser, where it was hidden behind some scrollwork. The copy of Ladies Home Journal on the bed stand was also a clue.

Anyway, I don't really care if he has a live in girlfriend as long as she doesn't walk in on us (We can discuss another time whether a shriekingly angry girlfriend or one who wants to join in is more horrific.), and it was a fun hour to cap off the weekend's sex. The jury's still out on the final rating, but it's a good one.



The recent -- and nearly full-time -- return to the nest of my oldest daughter has definitely meant a reduction in the frequency of my sexual exploits (I still go see the current bf one or two times a week, but I think that particular relationship has an expiration date on it), but she spends the odd weekend and evening at her mom's, and she usually tells me in advance when she's going to do that, so I try to cram in as much sex as possible during that time. So, for example, on Friday night, I was juggling the responses to a craigslist ad when I got an email from Mike saying that he'd had his root canal, and that he was very horny (no sex since we'd played before he'd gone to California for a week with his family) but couldn't kiss. At almost exactly the same time, a text from BLABS (built like a brick shithouse) informed me that he "need[ed] cock." So I emailed Mike that I'd be available later, and I texted BLABS to come over. He lives no more than a mile away, and he said he was just out of the shower and then would be on his way, but when there was a knock on my door five minutes later, it was Mike.

Mike's a twenty-something Chinese top who (when he hasn't had a root canal) kisses pretty well after he's warmed up, but who I play with mostly because he's too cute not to. He works in his family's restaurant business and lives at home, so he doesn't have a lot of opportunities to play, and he's not very experienced, but he has nice lips, and he's friendly, and he's oh so reactive when I suck his nipples or eat his ass.

Anyway, I was expecting BLABS momentarily, and Mike's expressed some interest in a threeway, but BLABS and Mike would be a laughable combo, so I just gave Mike a quick hug and began to suck on his nipple and stuck my hand down the back of his jeans and squeezed. Then I unbuttoned the jeans, got on my knees and began to suck on his cute, little cock. (His cock, in fact, is so cute and so little that I let him fuck me once because a) it isn't long enough to penetrate, and b) it gets him so worked up that he comes in, no lie, twenty seconds. He insisted on wearing a condom, and the only ones available were my Magnums, and, well, it was pretty funny, but he really liked it. He whispered "I love you" when he came. He really is cute.) I reached up and tweaked his nips a bit, then I turned him around, bent him over the couch, and ate his ass for maybe thirty seconds before I stood him back up, turned him around, took his cock in my mouth, stuck my thumb into his ass, and sucked for another minute, which includes the time it took to swallow. I hugged him again, and he left. I told him next time would be longer.



BLABS showed up a few minutes later, and, well, usually BLABS is leaving about five minutes after he arrives because he's often over in the middle of the night, after having snuck out of his bed, and he wants to be back before his girlfriend notices that he's missing. This time, apparently, his girlfriend was out for a while because we actually made out at the door for nearly a full minute before he started up the stairs. As will always happen when he's here, I only let him get a few steps up before I grab the back of his waistband and pull both it and him down so that I can eat his ass on the stairway. This got him very heated up, but when I got him upstairs, he went with (some) more kissing instead of immediately trying to sit on my cock. He even went down on me for a while. Which, to be fair, he usually does, but only long enough for me to shove my tongue up his ass to loosen him a little.

No, this time he was downright leisurely, and he probably had probably been inside the house for seven -- or possibly even eight! -- minutes before he decided that he needed to be sitting on my cock. Typically, he rides the cock for no more than forty-five seconds before he's nutting and then dressing and leaving, but this time he rode for a couple of minutes and then I pushed him down on his stomach and gave him a solid three minutes of deep dicking.

Sadly, when I went to put him on his back and shove his ankles behind his ears, I discovered the signs of some gastrointestinal distress. It is not in my nature to panic at such occurrences, so I just shepherded him into the shower, and after a minute of soap and water, I continued fucking him in there. I am not so much into fucking in the shower, though, so after I'd made my point, I guess, I got out of the shower and waited for him in bed (which I'd changed). He came in with a towel wrapped around his waist, and, boy howdy, that is a sight to behold. It's kind of why I put up with his, um, accelerated style of hooking up. That and the fact that five minutes is not that much of my time that I miss giving it to anybody.

BLABS said that his GI symptoms were continuing and that we'd have to resume on another occasion. I shrugged and took the sheets downstairs to the washer.



I had two different Latino bottoms scheduled for slightly later in the evening, and although I tried to get them to be there separately, they both came at about the same time. Fortunately, neither of them minded the other's presence in the least, and since I had sufficient stamina and turgidity to fuck a load out of each of them, they both had a great time. As did I, though I didn't spill any of my own seed. I saved that for the midnight round, when yet another Latino bottom, this one in his early twenties, showed up and went down. On me, naturally. I tried making out with him and a few other things, but he insisted that he was on a tight schedule and needed to start sucking my cock right away. Oddly enough, he didn't complain when it took forty minutes of a very wet, very skillful blowjob before I finally took pity on him and took matters into my own hand. A minute or so later I put matters back into his hands, just in time for me to blow an immense load all over his face. He seemed very grateful. Also unwilling to stop sucking my cock, even after I'd shot the load. I began to feel a little uncomfortable, or at least my cock did, but after another couple of minutes, he got dressed and headed out. I went to sleep. All in all, a pretty good Friday night.

Merely Stating the Obvious

I was wiping the cum (his own) off a guy's stomach after a pretty good session the other day. He'd been a quietly submissive bottom, and after I'd had him face down on the mattress, fucking him hard and alternately biting his shoulder and talking dirty in his ear (not really my forte, but if you're fucking a guy hard enough, he certainly doesn't care about the quality of the chatter, and he probably isn't even hearing the individual words) for ten minutes or so (maybe forty minutes into the session), I'd rolled him onto his back and resumed making out with him while I played with his cock and one nip until he'd shot. He was a really good kisser despite having unimpressive white boy lips (The other evening, I was over at That Guy's place, and he asked me what I liked best about him, and I said his fire. Then he said what he liked best about me was my lips. I have mixed feelings about being liked primarily for any of my body parts, but I am forced to acknowledge that you would be hard pressed to find a better combination of plumpness and skill in the lips of a white guy.), and if his nips weren't all that, well, nobody's perfect, right?


Anyway, as I was wiping, I said, "So you're married, right?"

He looked nonplussed for a moment, but then regained equilibrium and said, "Yeah, how did you know?"


I just laughed for a second and then said, "Dude. You're from Germantown. You kiss well. You love getting fucked. You were wearing an ESPN t-shirt when you got here. You drove up in an SUV. I didn't have to be Sherlock to call that one."

He just laughed. Next time he wants to be tied down. I'm game, but with gas prices what they are, he'd probably save a lot of money if he just bought some rope and a strap-on for his wife to use.


In answer to a question from Will in a recent comment, my bed's doing just fine these days. After the last collapse, I decided to balance it on two high-backed Ikea dining chairs at the head and three cheap Ikea stools at the foot. I didn't think this would work as a long-term solution, due to possible sliding during heavy-duty usage, but it's been great. The mattress still slides across the deck a bit, since there are no sides to the platform, and I should probably fix that sometime, but it's very sturdy, and the deck itself doesn't move.

New York Minute

Honestly, I started this post a while back, probably right after I got back from NYC, mostly just to remember the various guys I hooked up with on my less-than-forty-eight-hour trip there. Sexual memory is an odd thing: I probably wouldn't recognize half of those guys if I saw them on the street tomorrow, but the one-sentence thumbnails that I left here were enough to bring back the men, if not all the details of the encounters. The details, as I've said before, kind of bleed into one another anyway, since you do pretty much the same things (or at least you choose elements from the same limited set) with almost every guy you're with. Anyway, here's the rest of the post, with the now-somewhat-fleshed-out descriptions.

This past tax season was something of a bruiser, and -- due to the vagaries of Federal tax law and DC's insistence on having a holiday on April 15th -- what should have been a three-day weekend off turned into my having to go to the office on Monday the 18th. Such is life. I would have liked to take the rest of the week off, but I had to be back in the office Thursday morning for an IRS audit. That gave me Monday evening, all day Tuesday, and Wednesday morning to enjoy NYC. Sadly, the usual 4 - 4.5 hour bus took 6.5 hours, so I had less of the evening than I wanted. But I also had my iPhone and Craigslist, so in addition to some good food, a little shopping, and a half-price ticket to Priscilla: Queen of the Desert (something of a guilty pleasure, but ultimately a thumbs down: see another show), I managed to hook up with seven guys in something less than forty-eight hours. Nothing like a record, but not bad, I guess. Also, I got a 3.5-star hotel room for two nights for less than $300 total, including fees and taxes. I had to stay in what is apparently known as the FiDi, but being right next to the World Trade Center site was kind of cool, and the boys in NYC are apparently used to taking cabs to hook-ups.


1. Slender, youngish mixed race guy. He seemed a bit nervous when he arrived, but he very quickly got comfortable. Nice lips, good kisser, loved bouncing up and down on my cock. In what was to become something of a theme, he was in my room for less than half an hour and then blamed me for being too skilled for him to hold back his orgasm. It seems that almost all New Yorkers are hurried, nervous, and a bit disillusioned. But they're fun in the sack, and since I had guy 2 lined up, it was no big deal sending guy 1 on his way after thirty minutes.


2. Blue collar guy who spent the night. You know I joke about being a sexual missionary to the inexperienced masses, but sometimes it really seems to be the case. I got a response from a guy who said that he was in a bar in Chelsea and wanted to come by later, and then I didn't hear back after my reply, and then, apparently, he got drunker, and he said he wanted to come over. The young, inexperienced, and drunk often have limited sexual utility, but they are often otherwise amusing. Also cute. This particular guy was more handsome than cute, but that works, too, and the straight-out-of-All-in-the-Family New Yawk accent is a fun thing. I wish I remembered the details better, but I do know that I fucked him twice, and that between fucks we went to a bar near the hotel that apparently caters to blue collar types. How else can you explain having four beers for less than thirty bucks in Manhattan? I had to kick him out a little on the early side the next morning, but I think he had to get to work anyway.


3. Married marketing guy. You gotta love a fit handsome guy who gets all the way to his fifties without having more than one or two experiences with men. These guys are typically very outgoing in their professional lives, but shy and sweet when they finally overcome their inhibitions enough to want some man-to-man and you happen to be the other man in the right place at the right time. Anyway, this guy was a great kisser, and he loved what I did to his nipples and his ass. He wouldn't let me fuck him, but, well, I was already on pace to go through my supply of condoms, and I still wanted to see some of the city outside my hotel room. He put a lot of effort into not coming right away, but he was only successful for half an hour. Again, I was told I was too good for him to hold back. Again: whatever. I still exchange the occasional email with this guy, so if I'm back in the city alone again, I might have him, again, on his way to the office. Le yum.

4. Italian advertising guy. I had this guy for a nooner after I'd been out walking across the lower part of the city to get some tickets for a show and score some very good falafel. He worked at a midtown advertising agency of some sort, and he'd put the sort of effort into his appearance that you'd expect from an Italian in advertising. His clothing didn't do much for me, but he looked pretty good naked. He also came in just under half an hour, but he wasn't trying to hold anything back. I suspect all of his hookups are like that. Anyway, he had a very responsive ass, and I had my tongue and then cock up it, and by this time I was used to the fast pace, so it was all good.


5. Mr. Nips. This guy was also in his fifties, with lots of ink and metal, and he really loved loved loved having his nips worked hard. They were both pierced, and when I had him on his back with my cock slamming into him, he came when I tugged hard on both of them, which, unsurprisingly, happened about half an hour in. He said that he never shoots that quickly but that I was just too damned good with his nipples. Do you think these guys get together and coordinate their scripts? Anyway, y'all know how much I love nips, so it was a very hot half hour. Sadly, he later texted me to tell me what a great job I'd done on his nips, and I apparently ruined things by saying "Who is this?" In my defense, the number of guys who tell me that I've done a great job on their nips is a relatively large number, and I can't be expected to recognize all of the NY area exchanges, can I? Oops.

6. Indian dude who wanted to be racially degraded. Oh, dude, there are limits. I will chew on your nips and pin you down and pretend that I'm forcing you to shove your tongue in my mouth. I will eat your very hot ass while you go down on me, and I will then pin you down and rub my cock against yours when you claim that you are really a top. I will eat your pits and eat your ass some more while you jerk a healthy load onto my chest, and I will even accede to your demands that I pump a load onto your chest. But I will not call you a "sand n*****." He sure was pretty, though.

7. Short, uber-hairy dude. This guy tried to get to me early in my stay, but I was fucking someone else, and then I told him I was free, but he was stuck at a Seder or something, and I thought we probably wouldn't ever hook up, but he wanted it very badly, and he was pretty much worth the wait. Compact lean guys always get my motor going, whether they're smooth or hairy, but I'd done a lot of smooth on this trip, and sometimes it's fun to have to search for the nipples with your tongue so that you can clamp down on them to make the bottom throw his head back and pant. He actually had a full forty-five minutes to give me, so by NYC standards it was quite the leisurely fuck. Well, to the extent that having a guy bounce up and down on my cock faster and faster while I fist his cock until he shoots all over me can be considered leisurely. He had exceptionally attractive lips, and he knew what to do with them (i.e., he lay back and let me suck on them while he sighed and made lots of precum). It's always nice to end with a live wire.

Still Kicking

So, yeah, I haven't posted here in a while, and I don't really have any compelling reasons for the silence. Non-compelling reasons include the following:

1. It seems like it's harder to swipe pictures off flickr these days. I mean, I get the whole intellectual property thing, but it's not like I was making money from using those pictures. Also, it's probably still possible, so that probably boils down to:

2. Laziness. You'll note the lack of pics in this post. Sorry. I like them, too.

3. I really like writing about my sex life, but after a while it started to seem like all my sex sounded the same. You'll notice that about both fictional (which mine is not) and non-fictional (which mine is) pornography in general, I think, and it kind of makes sense. If you find practices that reliably give you great joy no matter how many times you do them (I'm guessing at this point that I've eaten a couple of hundred different asses over the past nine or ten years, and the two I ate on Tuesday were every bit as good as the ones I ate when I was first starting out. Not that they're all that great, but a good ass is timeless.), then you're going to keep doing them, right? I mean the Hare Krishnas don't get up some days and say, "Hey, let's chant the preamble to the Constitution today for a change of pace!" Or at least I presume they don't. Anyway, I don't generally find good sex in any way monotonous, and when I do, it just means that it's time to fuck someone else for a session or two. Which reminds me:

4. I've been dating the same guy since November, and he's been taking up a fair amount of my time. And I don't really want to write about my sex life with him, just because I'm pretty sure he'd see that as a betrayal and tacky. Mostly tacky. I will mention, though, that this guy (whom I generally refer to as That Guy) has been warning me since about the second date (Which, arguably, could be the third date since apparently he and I hooked up about three years ago when I was still living with b&c; when we met again this past November, I remembered him, but I didn't actually remember the sex. Oops.) that if things between us progressed to a certain point, then he would demand exclusivity. I am extremely ambivalent about this notion of exclusivity. On the one hand, That Guy is the bomb. He's extraordinarily attractive, and I sometimes refer to him as Catnip just because when I'm in his presence I almost invariably feel intoxicated (and not just because he's always plying me with cocktails and I'm not much of a drinker). On the other hand: exclusive, really? I just honestly don't see the point of it. But it's very clear that That Guy sees the point and that it's very important to him. Or that it would become very important to him at some point. He and I have very different views of sexuality. I would characterize his position as more stereotypically feminine. He has not, for instance, had sex with anyone else since we started dating. I had been pretty sure of this fact (without wanting to bring it up because I just don't want to encourage him to utter the E-word) since about a month into dating him, but he told me so explicitly a couple of weeks ago. Also, he has a slower arousal response than most guys, including -- especially -- me. By which I mean that for the first couple of months we were dating, it was sometimes difficult to get him to bed, presumably because he wasn't emotionally invested. Now if I'm over at his place on a weeknight, I'm lucky if I can get out of there at 11 (having arrived at 8) and without fucking a third (or possibly fourth; I lose track sometimes) load out of him. Anyway, we've always gotten along terrifically out of the sack, and the sex has been getting better and better (two or three months ago I'd have said that I'd never agree to an exclusive arrangement just because the sex wasn't all that), and I do find it very hard to say no to any bottom who knows nine languages, so we'll just have to see how that goes.

But the exclusivity thing -- if it ever arrives -- is clearly in the future, so I've continued to be fairly active, sort of like I'm having a clearance sale. Everything must go! So, for example, when I took my post-busy season quickie trip to NYC, I was in the city for less than forty-eight hours and had seven different guys, a couple of which weren't even quickies. (I have noticed, however, that NYC guys are on a much faster pace in all areas. At least five of those guys told me that they didn't usually come that fast but that they did because I was just so hot. Oh, puh-leeeze. I think even the guy who spent the night used that line on me. Twice.)

A more recent example: I believe it was this past Monday night. I had just gotten home and was doing a couple of household chores before heading over to That Guy's house for the evening, and I got a text message from David, an extraordinarily cute twenty-something Chinese-born local resident. He wanted to play, and I told him, sure, but it'd have to be a quickie because I needed to leave for That Guy's house by 7:30, and he said he would wait for later in the week, and I said, "Are you sure? You can have a lot of fun in twenty minutes," and he said he'd come over.

David, frankly, is not that great in the sack, in part because he's very inexperienced, and in part because he's convinced that he's a top. I have not yet had time to disabuse him of that notion, so while he occasionally will play with my cock as a matter of curiosity and/or jealousy (his own cock is quite small), he doesn't go down on it, and I don't get to fuck him. On the plus side, though, his body is pretty much a live wire, and the fact that his experience is mostly confined to drunken furtive fucks at the end of parties that he attends with his cousins (who -- he says -- don't know he's gay) means that he really appreciates (loudly) my experience, skills, and full range of bodily stimulation. Also, he has nice lips and kisses well. And, of course, there's that extraordinarily cute thing. But he never stays for a second orgasm, even though he's in his mid-twenties, and he doesn't make any real effort to get me off, so half an hour of him is usually just about the right amount of time, and twenty minutes is plenty.

In this particular case, I started eating his ass on the stairway up to the bedroom, and he started moaning. I moved him to the bedroom, finished undressing him, and put him down on the bed, where I went after his small but very sensitive nipples. We made out briefly, and then I had him sit on my face. I continued to run my fingertips lightly along the sensitive parts (i.e., all) of his body, while I shoved my tongue deeply into him. Vocal writhing ensued. Eventually, I shoved my thumb into his ass and banged it hard against his prostate while I sucked on his cock. He got louder. A minute later, I swallowed his load. Small but sweet, kind of like his cock -- and him. I was still, mostly, in my work clothes. We chatted for a bit, I saw him out, and then I showered and headed off for a significantly more adult interaction with That Guy. David is a lot of fun in his way, but he's very much an amuse bouche. With time, he might progress to an appetizer or maybe a pasta course, but every time he comes over, I figure it might very well be the last, and I won't especially mind.

Another One Bites the Dust

I was balls deep in a blindfolded married sub from Colorado when my bed collapsed. This is the second bed I've fucked apart in the past few months, but the particulars are different (though I was also balls deep in a married sub when the first one died). The first bed was a cheap-o commercial frame that I'd had for a long time and had been weakened by repeated dis- and re-assembly over many years, and I knew it was coming. The second bed was a non-nonsense, built-of-2-by-4, field-tested-for-1,000-pounds, homemade number that fell apart because of poor design.

Actually, the main deck of the bed was perfectly well constructed and remains in fine shape. I didn't lose any of the eyebolts, and the restraints are still tied to them. The problem was that I put the deck on a large number of too-long 2x4s, and I affixed the legs to the deck with two screws each, and after repeated, often intense, shaking, the whole thing turned out to be something that was, in effect sitting on stilts. Alas. Now I've pulled all the legs off, and the platform part is sitting on the floor, elevated only enough so that none of the remaining hardware can scratch the floors.*


Remarkably, Colorado took it entirely in stride when the upper right corner of the bed fell to the ground as a couple of the legs snapped free of their screws. I suppose he was prepared by the swaying of the bed during the previous couple of minutes, along with my having leapt out of the bed in an attempt to straighten and reinforce it before leaping back into his ass. Anyway, he pretty much just lay there while I figured out what to do, which was a) clear a space on the floor, b) pull him off the bed, c) pull the mattress onto the clear space on the floor, and d) put him back on the bed on the floor.

Colorado had replied to my weekend craigslist ad, with a relatively brief (and fortunately to-the-point) response saying he was back in town and wanted to play. I had to ask him who he was, and he replied that he was the guy who pretended to be robbing my house. I had to ask him which guy who pretended to be robbing my house (hey, it's a common roleplay: just ask anybody), and he said, "Colorado," and I said, "Yum." But when he replied I had an entirely different sub (not married, but he had a girlfriend) on the way over, and when that guy arrived, it was pretty clear that he wasn't leaving until I'd given him a load (not that I was trying to get rid of him or anything: he was a hot, mixed-race guy with muscles and a shaved head and nipples that didn't quit, and he kissed well), and when he left, about an hour later (roughly 12.5 seconds after I came: he was very goal oriented), it was late, and I didn't feel like fucking Colorado, who, fortunately, was still available late the next night, when I got home from the symphony (And for the love of God, people, enough with the fucking Mahler already. Also, a symphony that clocks in at 72 minutes is at least half an hour too long.), so I told him to come over.

We played the usual game, and I stood in one of the downstairs bedrooms while he came in and stripped down and somehow could not find the blindfold that I had left on the table right next to the door, so he stood facing against the wall (Note to self: you have a basement, so you can absolutely get some sub to come in, go down to the basement and face the wall. Craigslist ad title: Blair Witch Roleplay.) while I blindfolded him and then led him to the stairs and squeezed his buns, alternately, while he walked up.


Colorado likes to make out, though probably only when he's blindfolded, so I put him on the bed and started with the normal kissing and nipple play. He's pretty well put together, maybe 5'11 and smooth and fairly handsome in that semi-metrosexual, married, mid-forties kind of way, and it was all going pretty well and entirely according to plan through his going down on me and my eating his ass, but he'd said that he didn't want to be fucked that night, so I figured we'd just do that for a while and then I'd jerk off on his face and then suck him off. He always asks for that, and it doesn't take very long, and he has a nice-looking cock, so why not?

But he got more and more into it as I ate his ass, and I got a couple of fingers in, and he was really getting worked up, so I pulled him back around, face to face, and I kissed him some more while he rubbed his ass up and down against my cock, and I said, "You said you didn't want to fuck, so if you want to fuck, you're going to have to say it," and he asked for a condom. Close enough.


He was pretty tight, so it had taken a little while for him to get the condom on (the blindfold didn't seem to trouble him unduly, however) and then sit on me and ease me into him. He'd ridden me for a bit and then I'd lowered him back into the X position. He's not really a noisy fuck, but I could tell I was hitting all the right spots (There's more than one, right? There are details about bottoming that I just don't get. Anyway, I was hitting the big spot pretty well, apparently.), and I'd gotten him on his back and had grabbed his ankles and pushed them forward (he's pretty limber) and was pounding away as I hope to do for the majority of eternity if there is an afterlife and a kind and reasonable god in charge when the bed issues began.

By the time the bed issues were resolved, I had had nearly enough of the pounding, so I gave it another minute or two just to show that order had been restored, and then I started to go down on him. But I was thinking that he'd been an awfully good sport about the whole thing, so perhaps I should make like a true cocksucker and make it last. I spent the next half-hour bringing him to the edge and then easing off the cockhead and onto the nipples until he'd backed away and then repeating the process. He was extraordinarily appreciative and started making with the louder sighs and the "Oh my God"s and the "You're so much better at this than I am" (not true, really), and that was a good deal more gratifying than I might have expected.

In the end, I had a finger working his prostate and I brought him to a fairly volcanic orgasm and ejaculation. It took him a while to regroup after I had cleaned him up. I may actually have rocked his world. Of course, that probably means that now he's running all over his part of Colorado getting head, but I reckon he'll probably come back to me when he's back in the area again. From what he said as he was leaving, it seems that his mother lives here, and he comes to visit her two or three times a year, which is consistent with the frequency of his visits.

I can't say that Colorado sparked any real new interest in cocksucking: whether I want to suck the cock still depends entirely on whether it's a pretty cock, and I still usually get bored with the process after forty-five seconds or so, and most of the guys really aren't anywhere near as interested in that as they are in getting a good pounding, but it was fun.


* I started this entry a while back. The bed has since been lifted onto a pair of Ikea dining chairs (at the head) and a trio of Ikea stools (at the foot). This arrangement struck me as possibly precarious at first, but it has stood up well in real-world conditions.

VPD

Vertical Personality Disorder is a condition where a man who is fun and perhaps even charming while horizontal turns into a big dick (not in a good way) when vertical. The horizontal charm is largely about the fucking, of course, but it's not just about the fucking. I've frequently experienced five or ten or thirty minutes of very pleasant (albeit often drowsy) post-coital conversation, and then the guy gets up to use the bathroom or get dressed, and the bonhommie evaporates.

This most frequently manifests in a guy who was happy to spend half an hour making out before being made to walk funny is suddenly nonplussed by a front-door goodbye kiss, but it can also show up as bizarre post-encounter behavior. Repeated emails, text messages, and phone calls (unsolicited, mind you) from guys saying they want a repeat but failing to follow through. The weirdest thing is that after acting like jerks, they're resume being charming when they're again horizontal. Go figure.


I still occasionally find this sort of behavior troubling, but mostly I just don't let it bother me. Back in the day I was more sensitive, but these days, if one guy says he wants to put his heels to heaven but then flakes on me, the usual upshot is that I'm happy for the opportunity to have a relaxed free night, and then someone else calls me and comes over instead. I have real trouble saying no to such offers of companionship, though I have developed the skill to move people along so that I don't miss that night's episode of Top Chef Just Desserts. Yeah, I know, but nobody's perfect, and I like fantasizing about ganache and Yigit.

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There has been some Major Life Trauma in recent weeks, and it plays out in unpredictable ways in my sex life. There are times when it means that I just can't be bothered, and there are other times when it means that I'm extra horny, and throw that ass on the bed right now, boy. I never know which sort of mood that I'm going to be in, and this past Saturday, I really expected to be in the can't be bothered mood, which would have been really useful since I had a lot to do at the office, but then in the middle of the afternoon, I happened to look on Grindr, and there happened to be a geekily cute guy within reasonable proximity, and he happened to be responsive to my inquiries, so I happened to find myself walking through the door to his condominium a few minutes later. (It was a studio, so I had to help him flatten the futon from sofa to bed, but never let it be said that I'm not willing to work for it.)

When I walked in, I started to kiss him, and he apologized for tasting like coffee, but I told him that I like coffee, and then I kissed him some more, and (after folding the futon out), I started to undress him, and he apologized for being so pale, but I told him that I like pale, and then I got him undressed and remembered that he said that he hated having his nipples played with, so I started to suck on his neck instead, and he moaned and then apologized for not liking his nipples played with, and I said, "You aren't the sort who has to wrestle with your own arrogance, are you?" and he laughed.


And then things pretty much fell into place. I had to slow him down once or twice, when he too quickly wanted to get fucked, and I had to remind myself to stay away from his nipples, and OMG, you know what? After I'd eaten his ass and fucked him for a long time and he'd gone down on me and he'd spent tens of minutes moaning while I very lightly stroked all over his body, I forgot and licked his nipples and it turned out that he just didn't like any sort of pulling or biting or pinching, but licking and stroking was all good, and why did you not tell me that before, boy?

Anyway, it was two hours of awesome because he had a very reactive body and a nice smile and a subtle yet quick wit and that whole geekily cute thing going. More like him, please. I could have run my fingers over his simmering flesh all night long.

I went back to the office afterwards and then home, and again I'd planned to do nothing, but I thought I would at least try to text a guy who'd been in town working and visiting family and had wanted to play earlier in the week but had then had to do something with his family. I'd have just forgotten about it, but I figured it couldn't hurt, and he was really handsome in that short, smooth, big-nippled way that I can't resist, and he extremely submissive, so I sent him a message and he replied back while I was at Home Depot, which is always a good spot from which to flirt, even over the phone, and he said that he was finished with his work and headed back to Miami the next day but free later that evening and would come by in about ninety minutes.


Ninety minutes turned into three hours when he had trouble finding a motel room (he was flying out the next day, and I didn't know him, so I wasn't sure about offering to let him sleep over, especially since I had to sing the next morning and needed some sleep, and he seemed like the type who might make me wake up and molest him a lot), and I was worried that it was going to be too late to get started, but then he showed up and I kissed him, and I lifted his shirt, and I bit down on his nipple about as hard as I've ever bitten on a nipple, and he was mine.

That was three hours of full-on awesome, and I wish I could the exact order, but here are some of the highlights:

Every once in a while he would say that he needed some more energy, and he would take a few swigs of his Red Bull and then we'd make out. He was a great kisser, too.

I'm pretty sure this is the only time I've ever been able to fist someone without lube. Yet he was tight. How did he do that? Also, incredibly clean. He must have a machine of some sort.


He was also kind of a cool guy, and in one of the interludes when we were chatting, he said that this was the first time in the last three years when he'd truly clicked with a hook-up. That was nice to here, but it also made me incredibly horny, so I licked his nipple as if to be tender and then bit down really hard and then pinned his ankles down next to his ears and pounded.

Absolutely no gag reflex. That's supposed to be common, but in my experience, it isn't often the case: guys still gag. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I had his wrists tied to the bed for part of the fucking, and I could pull out and twist him so that his ass was up, and then spank him hard and then go back to fucking him.

His shoulders were knotted from a week of work, and I gave him a massage that relaxed him utterly. Then I started biting the back of his neck and shoulders, and things got less relaxed again.

I still managed to get almost seven hours of sleep, and I sang well the next morning.

More like him, too, please.

The Post-Coital Book Club

In list format:

1. You do not get any sort of meaningful hits at all, let alone the obvious parody that begins "Sometimes it's hard to be a bottom," if you google "Stand by Your Top." How am I to make sense of a universe that doesn't have this but does have the gay rodeo? Also, I am a little embarrassed to admit that I have never been to a drag show, but are there no C&W drag artists? And if there are, how is "Stand by Your Top" not a standard? Are there intellectual property issues? Cole Porter foresaw similar difficulties and wrote "You're the Top" so that the second meaning was obvious.

2. I have had mixed luck with gay Muslims during Ramadan. Leo was over this past Saturday evening, and he told me that he had been trying to resist me because it's more sinful than usual to take it up the ass during Ramadan. I confessed my lack of knowledge of Islam to him; at the same time, I opined that as long as he wasn't receiving oral and swallowing before sundown, I didn't see how mansex was incompatible with the five pillars. I feel bad that he's so conflicted, but the only way I could think to show my concern was to make him cum twice, so after I pounded him as hard as I could (which is pretty hard, I have to say) and made him cum with my cock still up his ass, I gave him only a brief rest before I started to stroke him while we made out and then went down on him. When he got close, I closed my mouth and jerked him to completion, then fed him my load off my mustache. It was fully dark by then, but I think he's still conflicted. Alas.


My other gay Muslim experience came with a guy who contacted me off one of the hook-up sites and then came over and wanted to be fucked but didn't want to kiss and looked positively repulsed at the notion of oral sex. Then he demanded that I undress first. I explained that I wasn't going to get hard if there was no kissing and no oral and he wouldn't even remove his shirt to let me at his nipples, and then I suggested that he'd be happier elsewhere. He concurred. As time goes by, I find that the innocence and, frequently, youth that accompanies inexperience just doesn't compensate for the erratic behavior and lack of technique. Perhaps I'm jaded.

3. The sweet German guy that I wanted to date turned out to be even less available than I had feared, and when he proved entirely unavailable over the weekend (due to work he said, and he was likely telling the truth), I gave up. He kept sending apologetic text messages about his lack of presence, but the tide had turned, and I texted him to say that there was no point in continuing. I felt something very much like nano-heartache when I did that, and I was glad: perhaps I'm not so jaded, after all.


4. I had posted an ad on craigslist for local tops to join in on group sessions. The initial impetus for the ad had been a request from Leo to be taken from both ends, but lots of the bottoms I play with love groups. Unsurprisingly, almost all of the responses I got were from bottoms. One guy claiming to be a top responded, but I couldn't help noticing that he'd replied several times previously to ads seeking a bottom. I decided to take him for a test drive over the weekend. He came hard while he was sitting on my cock, and he was a good kisser, but if he's versatile, I am Marie of Romania.

5. One of the bottoms who replied to that ad was a very cute and fit older pig whom I'd plowed hard a couple of months ago, and when I didn't immediately recognize his address (which was a meaningless combination of letters and numbers) or recall playing with him, he got a little insulted. I apologized, not least because nearly two years ago, I inadvertently blew him off when I forgot to check my cell phone for messages (I also apologized at the time), and he forgave me, or at least he forgave me enough to come over to my place, walk in, remove his clothes, put on the blindfold, and crawl up the stairs and into my bedroom while I waited. Hoo, boy, that was fun. He may not be the greatest kisser in the world (he gets very excited, and it's a little bit like making out with a shark), but what an attitude and an appetite for cock. After an hour or so of sex, including reasonably lengthy fucks in multiple positions, I stroked his remarkably nicely formed cock to completion.


Prior to his showing up, we'd swapped a number of email messages, and I thought there might be some friend potential, so after he came, we chatted for nearly ninety minutes while lying naked in bed, and that was very nice indeed. Sadly, one of us (not me) thinks that Don Quixote is an absolute masterpiece with two entirely compelling main characters, while the other of us (not him) thinks it's a clever but ultimately pointless exercise in hot air, with no characters worthy of regard. This is the sort of difference of opinion that can be difficult to overcome, but perhaps we can be friends, regardless, or at least it can be a good excuse for me to punish him, which he would probably like.

6. My experience with the articulate pig (AP) made me think that what I really want is a small group of guys who get together once a week or once every two weeks for ninety minutes of hot sex followed by ninety minutes of literary discussion, perhaps with snacks. After our session, I expressed this desire to AP, but he agreed with me that it would be very difficult to find any other potential participants who weren't total bottoms. Still, I can't help thinking that The Post-Coital Book Club would make a great title and idea for an erotic novel. I think I'll write it.