Monday, April 28, 2008

Horizontal


And not in a good way.

I thought, Thursday, that I was coming down with a chest cold. B&c appears to have had two distinct illnesses last week (one likely from eating something unsafe in Managua; the other more like a common cold) and YFU was also sick, so I was pretty sure I'd get hit with something. On Thursday, it mostly was affecting my voice. On Friday, I was feeling lethargic and uninspired, but it's often difficult to tell whether that's the result of a rhinovirus or the current administration.


By Saturday, though, it was clear that I had something, and I had resigned myself to a day of switching between drinking orange juice and sitting in front of the television and playing Paper Mario on the Gamecube with YFU.


And then I heard the sound of the lawn mower. B&c had been saying that the grass was getting way too long, but given that he was barely capable of walking, I figured that he'd wait until one of us was better. Anyway, I really wasn't as sick as he, so I got dressed, went outside, told him to go back in, and started cutting the grass. I spent the next hour or so walking behind the lawn mower and emptying clippings into lawn bags.


And then I had a headache. I realized I hadn't had any caffeine in nearly twenty-four hours, so I got myself a diet coke, but the headache didn't go away, so I lay down for a while. Lying down is a good thing, but dangerous. There hadn't been any sex in a while, due to b&c's recent illnesses, and then I may not have chosen the least provocative reading material. In any case, I found myself in bed with a fairly severe headache and a particularly insistent erection.


I'm no stranger to headaches, but they're normally the sort of mild sinus headaches that become less severe when I take matters into my own hand. This time, though, stroking myself made the pain more intense. I had a pillow over my head to keep out the light and to press down on my forehead to help keep the pain in check, but it only worked partially and intermittently. I must have been pretty horny to persevere through all that, but extreme horniness and I are not exactly strangers. Anyway, getting myself off was hard work because I had to focus on erotic thoughts through occasionally intense pain, and focusing was difficult because I kept worrying about whether my body would somehow become confused and start to associate pleasure with pain and then I'd be one of those guys that I occasionally tie up and spank, and I really don't want to be one of those guys. Anyway, I managed to make it work, and when I was done, the pain seemed to lessen somewhat.

Temporarily, that is. Maybe there was some sort of potassium or zinc depletion or something, but not long after I had finished cleaning up, I was struck with the mother of all headaches. A simultaneous sinus and vascular headache that made me want to simultaneously scream and whimper. I didn't do much of either, but I really wanted to. Mostly I lay still and worried about sinus infections and/or brain aneurysms, and then I told myself not to be so dramatic. It was the worst headache I can remember, though, so it was tough. Eventually, a combination of meditation, caffeine, Alleve, and nasal spray brought the whole thing under control, and since there are no other symptoms of either sinus infection or aneurysm, I can only conclude that in future, I need to be more careful about hydration and maybe not jerk off when my head is already pounding.


Anyway, the cold isn't gone, but I've been keeping the headache pretty well under check. I came to work today because I really like to reserve my sick days for days when I'm very sick or when I'm not really sick at all but need a day off. And it's been a couple of days since I've ejaculated, but the memory of the headache is doing a great job of (temporarily, I'm sure) curbing my horniness. Right now, I mostly have notional horniness. Like when I was at Costco yesterday, and I saw this totally hot late thirty-something Asian man in jeans and a t-shirt, and I said to myself, "Damn. That is the kind of man who stirs my loins. Why aren't you stirring, loins?," and my loins told me to just drink some more water and chill. This, obviously, is an intolerable state of affairs, but the cold is receding, and I'm sure that within a few days, everything will be back to normal. In the interim, it's pleasant enough to see hints of better things to come. Sort of like these pictures.

BTW, remind me sometime to start a discussion of butt cleavage. In the past it's always been done badly and by the wrong people, but I think it should be the next fashion frontier.

1 comment:

Lewis said...

Well, in spite of hoping you're feeling better, I will start showing my crack if you will.