A Matter of Perspective

I am troubled, readers, by prudishness. I realize that I'm probably preaching to the choir. Unless you're the sort of person who enjoys train wrecks, you're probably not a reader here if you're not a fuck-and-let-fuck sort of person. But I see an awful lot of prudishness around the net, even from other gay men. You know the sort: the guy who's been in a monogamous relationship for all of three weeks and who's decided that the gays as a whole are awful people with no morals just because his last twelve boyfriends all cheated on him, but no more! no sir! now he and the love of his life (who's also fucking other men but who's better at covering up) have decided to turn their backs on the gay lifestyle and live out their lives in each other's arms in their own corner of Logan Circle, where no temptation can reach them.

Or, you know, whatever. I may have some details wrong. And, really, I have the utmost respect to the six or eight gay men who are incarcerated together in remote rural prisons in truly monogamous relationships. Neither do I entirely eschew judgment. I have no patience for those who prey on children and try to pass it off as another normal sexual appetite: people have to be in relatively equal positions for there to be true consent.

Did I have a point here? Oh, wait, I did. It's that if you're looking down your nose at what other people do, try to bear in mind that most of the world is looking down its nose at all the men who like to have sex with other men. The fact that you only stick your cock in the ass of your one true soulmate rather than in the asses of anyone who'll have your cock is a distinction that's wasted on a great deal of the populace. So even if you're saying "ewww" on the inside, just smile nicely on the outside and be glad that the fisting bottom who's standing next to you at the Pride parade has found a way to be happy.

Besides, what's mild and what's mild is all a matter of perspective. Let's take a couple of examples from everyone's favorite sexual marketplace (I've left the reply addresses in, in case you feel like replying. Don't worry about stepping on my toes: I have other plans.):

WS - 45

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-355394420@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-06-19, 9:57AM EDT

I really want to let go of my nice guy, suit and tie personality and do something nasty...I want to piss on or in someone or maybe have a tongue shoved up my ass.......good looking mild mannered guy looking to shake it up for once...you must be close to rockville and able to host

Location: Rockville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Whoa, dude! A tongue up your ass? You WILD THING! Ok, I know, he's probably talking more about the watersports, but still. WS is something I can't do (No, really, I don't mean "won't do," I mean "can't do." I have tried, and I just cannot take a piss on someone. Maybe if both the other guy and I were blindfolded, but then wouldn't there be some problems with aim? Actually, I figure that if I had a twelve-pack of a nice ale, I'd probably be sufficiently drunk and sufficiently full of piss to give someone a golden shower, but there again, I'd have problems with aim. Also, I worry about laundry.), but taking a leak on another guy is not really all that wild compared to, say, having another guy take a leak on you. Or in you.

I'm really not making fun of this guy. I know there was a time when shoving my tongue up another guy's ass was unthinkable to me, and now it seems the height of vanilla. And maybe given another six months, this guy will have five-pound weights suspended from his nipple rings while he's getting double-fucked by twin police officers (in uniform: that's what makes it kinky). I just think that his idea of wild is a little, well, cute. I also think that if anyone responds to the ad, he's going to find that he has some trouble following through. Close your eyes and turn the taps on.

Here, by contrast, is an ad from someone who doesn't appear to think that his tastes are in any way out of the ordinary (and good for him, though I'd encourage him to give up smoking):

Masochist Pig needs Cigar Torture - 53

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-355377017@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-06-19, 9:24AM EDT

Ready to be your prisoner for a few hours Wednesday or Thursday evening. Would especially like it if you tied me tight then tortured me with your cigar. Forced smoke, use my mouth as your ash tray, cook my nips and other body parts, eventually make me eat the cigar butt, washed down with your piss. Or, if you are a chew kinda guy, maybe some spittoon training? 53 yo 6’2 260 lb masculine gwm. HIV-, dd free, few limits. Visiting from SF, at hotel in Silver Spring, cannot host. Keywords: slave, bondage, leather, piss, abuse, pain, face fuck, whip, toilet, urinal, cigar torture, punch, humiliation, beat, edge, strap, tt, cbt, discipline

Location: Silver Spring
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

It amuses me to think that because this guy's from SF, he's probably toned the ad down for the locals. (Maybe he's dropped his typical Cubans in favor of domestic cigars.) I'll admit that I'd be fascinated to watch the session that guy ends up with. I couldn't reply, though, since significant parts of what he wants are beyond what I'm willing to provide.

Besides, he doesn't say anything about kissing. Go figure.