I'd placed an ad on craigslist on Saturday, when it looked like Logan might not be able to make it. As it happened, he did, but I figured it couldn't hurt to make one or two or five new friends, so I left the ad up. I got the latest response to it on Sunday morning. The first email was sent at 8:40 am, but I didn't get it until after I returned from church.
Hello good lookin
I am a white male 51 5' 10" 185 that would love to suck you off I would also let you have intercourse with me I love the picture I am in [other town]
I implore you to forgive the incomplete sentences in my reply. I had just returned home, and I had barely had time to use the bathroom when I saw the email, and the guest I was expecting was on his way up the driveway even as I typed this missive, at 11:38 am.
Free this afternoon? After 1? I'm going to be offline until after 12:30, but I can reply then.
I saw my guest to the door just before his 12:30 deadline, at which point I found the following response, which covered much of the same ground. It had been sent at 11:59 am.
Hello Good Lookin,
I am Free for you and more than willing to service you after 1:00 today I love to suck dick I also hope you want to have intercourse with me as I am willing but again I love a dick in my mouth let me know
His picture made my motor run, so I replied, at 12:29.
That would be great. I just need to be finished by around 3. I live on [street name, without house number] in [my town]. My number is [cell number].
At this point, I really needed to start chopping the ingredients for the chicken salad that I was making for the choir picnic, so when I didn't get an immediate response, I figured he was the sort of flake who goes away when you make him call you. So I started chopping. But then, at 12:55:
I do not know where [street name] is But I will come
I will call for directions if I get lost or I am late I am on my way after I shower You be showered too
I had, in order to be a good host, showered with my friend from 11:30 before sending him on his way, so I was good on that front. So my response, sent at 1:04 was brief:
Excellent. You kiss, right?
I returned to my chopping. Word came back at 1:07.
YES I Kiss You are gonna fuck me Right?
At 1:12, I was briefer still:
Much additional chopping, and the making of a seasoned mayonnaise, ensued. I did not hear back again until 1:41.
I am showered I am on my way I prefer not to have to call what is your street address I am on my way
At this point, I was beginning to lose both time and patience. Granted that I don't practice the extensive anal hygiene of most bottoms, I just didn't see why a shower and a quick internal cleansing needed to take such a long time. And I had a deadline. And there was no way I was giving him my street address. So at 1:43, I shot back:
I don't like to play with anyone I haven't spoken to on the phone first. Call for the street number. Also, remember that I said I need to be done by 3.
Nine minutes later (1:52):
I am on my way I will calll you when I am in your neigorborrhood
I was too busy trying to rescue the mayonnaise and balance the flavors in the salad to give much thought to how I was supposed to make out with, get sucked by, and then fuck a guy in what would likely be less than thirty minutes. I mean, I've done it before, and sometimes it's been great, but it's not my chosen modus operandi. Anyway, he called me, from near the neighborhood Popeye's, at 2:33. I gave him directions, and the house number, and told him we would need to hurry. He said he would see me in a few minutes. I finished my chicken salad, and at 3:15, I packed it up and left for the picnic. When I got home, I had another email:
I am so sorry as I could not find your house by 3:00 I just gave up as our time ran out I do wish to retry with a little better directions and more time to please you John
There are a few points to note.
- He's probably telling the truth. It occurred to fifteen minutes after he called me that I hadn't asked which way he was heading on the main road. And I may have said left when I meant right. But by the time I realized that, it was 2:45, so there was no point in calling him.
- This is the sort of thing that drives other guys nuts about the Internet in general and about craigslist in particular.
- It is really hard to get annoyed about this sort of thing when you're already exhausted from having fully awesome sex with several different men over the course of the weekend.
- The guy's still an idiot.
As for the rest of the weekend, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put that in two or more other posts. I haven't had a weekend like that in a while, so I really need to milk it.