Monday, August 13, 2007


I like to make fun of the ads in craigslist, but sometimes they just make me sad. Most often these are the cries-in-the-wilderness sorts of ad, the things that in the past would have been uttered in silent prayer or, perhaps, as a message in a bottle, but which would never have gotten heard. Thank Cthulhu for the Internet, where you can talk to nobody and still have an audience.

m4m Unattached gay man looking for companionship - 44

Reply to:
Date: 2007-08-11, 12:00PM EDT

Live alone, unattached, bored, looking for a buddy to hang out with and get to know. Like to mostly stay in but going out every now and then is o.k. too, there just is not a lot for "us" outside of the 17th st area. Educated, politically & religiously progrssive/liberal, like to cook simple things, watch movies, read, take short day trips. Romance & passion are a must. In bed I am totally oral, getting & giving, this means no anal; a nice 5 minute deep kiss and falling asleep in each others arms is almost as good as an orgasm. Only into clean-shaven attractive masculine men. Simple, honest, independent, looking for someone to compliment me and me you. I will send pic when I get one from you. Thanks.

I don't want people to think I'm poking fun here. I have no trouble poking fun at craigslist posters, but I'm usually pretty direct about it. I adore irony, but unlike some bloggers, I recognize that it has its limits. You're probably acquainted with somebody like the guy who posted that ad. Maybe you work with him or go to church with him, but you don't really know him. He's generally the embodiment of nondescript. I feel tremendous sympathy for these people, but usually not enough to go out of my way to befriend them. Either I'm not that nice of a person or I just don't have any free time: take your pick.

Then there's this guy:

Tom, I miss you. - 47

Reply to:
Date: 2007-08-11, 9:01AM EDT

Tom, I miss you. I miss the taste of your kiss, the feel of your soft, smooth skin, tasting your cock, your balls, your ass. I miss running my fingers through your thick dark hair as you suck me. I miss watching you shoot across my stomach and chest as you ride my cock with abandon. I miss holding you tightly afterward, smelling you, feeling your heartbeat. It has been a very long time, but I sense you like it was yesterday.


Have any of us not felt this way at some point or other? Especially after a very good relationship or something that seemed on its way to being a very good relationship went south? Imagine never getting over that. Ugh.

Anyway, sad as these stories are, the fact that we now know about people like this when, in the past, we'd only have read about fictional versions of them, carries its own seed of hope. I don't think Tom's ever coming back to Kirk (from the way the ad's written, they might have dated three times, or Tom might have died after they'd lived together for ten years), but maybe he'll hear from someone else with a similar pain.

And maybe our nameless poster from the first ad will find someone else who wants what he wants. The problem is that it may be easier for people like that to post an anonymous ad than to respond to one and actually come clean about who they are. And lonely people have problems building bridges to each other, but maybe a few of them will figure out a way. Necessity, after all, is the mother of invention.

Note: I'm off for a week with the kids to visit the folks in Southwestern, Pennsylvania, the land of slow dial-up. I might make some short posts if I can, but if I'm silent for a week, you'll know why.

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