Tuesday, September 18, 2007


I've noticed that my cultural memory is far from infallible. I will be convinced that a certain lyric or bit of movie dialogue goes a certain way only to find later that the detail I remember so vividly is only substantially correct. In other words, I've got the meaning right, but my mind has somehow rephrased. I mention this because it was a long time ago when I saw The Good Earth. (It was released in 1937, so I must have seen it on TV.) Anyway, one of the scenes I remember in perhaps incorrect detail involves the two main characters carrying their eldest son around, shortly after his birth. They are remarking about what a fine boy he is when it occurs to them that the gods might overhear them and punish them for their arrogance, so they start talking about how the baby is pockmarked and "only a girl child" or something like that. In any case, the movie portrays a general belief, apparently held by early twentieth century Chinese peasants, that pride goeth before a fall. The Biblical version (Proverbs 16:18) is "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." I have no real opinion about the correctness of this sentiment, though it seems likely enough, given the existence of gravity. I am less sure about the following verse: "Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud." I don't see why you can't be of an humble spirit while dividing the spoil, and even if I were to grant the implied premise that you have to choose one or the other, I'm not sure that poor-but-humble is what I'd choose. And, given the vehicular choices of most of the Bible thumpers I know, I'm not sure they would either.

Anyway, the reason I was thinking about all of that is that last night I had had a nice two-star hookup (a separate entry about that later, and hopefully another about the other nice two-star hookup that I had on Saturday) and had just finished writing and posting my last entry -- about Friday night and about what terrific sex I've been having lately -- when my second hookup of the evening showed up and rained on my parade (you are not meant to take my metaphor too literally: I have never been able to get into water sports).

The TED hookup rating system rests on the principle that bad sex can be avoided. When it can't be avoided, you push it out of your mind so that it never happened. I am, alas, committed to the idea that the blog should be a relatively accurate chronicle of my sex life, so I reckon I'll talk about the bad sex now and push it out of my mind tomorrow.

I've been pretty careful with my ads. I always ask for "a bottom who likes to kiss," and then I screen out anyone who doesn't volunteer that he likes to kiss or doesn't respond with some enthusiasm when I specifically ask. This guy had said that he wanted to sit on my cock, but he had also said he liked kissing. But I knew I was in for a less-than-stellar session as soon as I grabbed the guy. When I kissed him, there was no there there: he was moving his lips, but there was no passion coming out. Still, he wasn't actively refusing or trying not to kiss, so I pushed him up the stairs. He took his clothes off (I didn't see any point in telling him I'd do it for him since I wasn't really looking to slow him down), leaving only his black jockstrap, and he jumped up on the bed and got on his hands and knees. Down boy. I pushed him on his back and we made out (or I made out anyway: I'm not sure exactly what he was doing) and I worked on his nips some. I still wasn't getting much of a response, so after three minutes or so, I said, "So, you wanna sit on it?" and he perked right up.

Fortunately, working on his nips had given me good wood, so I just lay back and handed him a condom and some lube. He put them on me and started to take a seat. He'd said it had been a while, and he was having some trouble taking me. He asked for porn, so I got up and put a DVD on, then I put him on his stomach and worked most of the way in and fucked him for a minute that way. Then he wanted to sit on me again, so I got back on my back, and he straddled me and bounced up and down for a couple more minutes. Then he stood up, stroked himself, and came on my stomach. I handed him a towel, and he was downstairs and out the door in about ninety seconds.

I guess that the guy saw me as a human dildo. I'd say that I feel used, but I really can't be that upset about it. It was safe, and he's probably not a bad guy: he just wanted one thing, and it wasn't what I wanted. And once I realized I wasn't going to get anything out of it, I just went on autopilot and made sure that I didn't do anything to slow down his progress. Note to self: make sure reading material is on the bedside table, within easy reach.

I'm not sure I'd have done anything differently to screen him. He answered all the questions the right way, and that usually leads to a good session. Imperfect world, you know?

On the plus side, he annihilated my craving for a cheeseburger. I'm grateful that it's been so long since I had bad sex, and I'll put this guy out of my mind tomorrow.

In the insult-added-to-injury category, Overstock shipped my DVD order in more than one package, and the one that arrived yesterday contained only Drift. Somehow, I remembered Drift as an interesting and sexy movie. Talk about your flawed cultural memory. Who wrote that dialog? Well, actually, it was the director, Quentin Lee. Don't get me wrong: the movie's not a disaster on the order of, say, the eruption of Mt. St. Helens. There are some cute boys in it, the acting's not bad, and I got a few wood-inducing moments. But it would be generous to call a lot of the dialog sophomoric. All of that pontificating about the nature of life, love, and Los Angeles is not something that anyone over the age of thirty should want to see. Film school project.

But hey, just remember that sunshine always follows the rain. While I was doing last night's hookup #2 and watching self-important cinema, the Washington Redskins and the Philadelphia Eagles were scoring a suitable number of points to make me this week's winner in the office NFL pool. I love the fact that I can win money in the office pool without ever having to actually watch a game. It was a timely win, too: I used my last three condoms last night, so I'll be dividing the spoil with the drug store.


Jason said...

...how the baby is pockmarked and "only a girl child".

As a new born, my ears were pierced without my consent for that same silly reason. Came to his senses later, my father put an end to that before I turned 3.

Canberrabiker said...

They made a disaster movie about Mt St Helens ?

Oh, and as always, a thoroughly enjoyable blog.