Thursday, September 27, 2007

Stuck in My Craw

There aren't a lot of things that really bug me. I mean, I'm as ready as the next blogger or gay man to employ rhetorical excess over things that I don't like, but most of those things don't really get on my nerves. I'd say "I don't have pets, and I don't have pet peeves," but I'd kind of like to have a pet, so it would only be true in a very narrow sense.
It is true that I feel a real -- and sometimes intense -- anger when I see scare quotes or the greengrocer's plural, but I recognize that the magnitude of my anger is disproportionate to the stimulus. And I've learned to accept and embrace my prescriptivist nature, so I'm comfortable with the notion that if you routinely use quotes where they don't belong and/or pluralize with the assistance of an apostrophe, then I'm just a better person than you. I still affirm your worth and dignity as a human being, though.
Anyway, my point is, that when I post about things (other than matters of punctuation and usage, that is) that bug me, you have to understand that I'm not really all that worked up over them. With that excessively long proviso, here are some things that bug me.
Bottoms who respond to a craigslist ad with their stats, an affirmation of how much they love sucking cock and being pounded, and pictures of only their cock. Sometimes these responses include statements like "8.5x 5.5 here, but I luv sucking cock and taking dick in my ass," except that they're usually phrased less articulately. You can be as subliterate as you like if I'm going to hook up with you, but if my ad says I'm a top who likes making out, nip play, rimming, and hard-pounding anal sex, why do you think I give a fuck what your cock looks like? Show me your pretty face, your well-chewed nipples, and your firm, round ass. A top who only wants to fuck hung guys is, well, let's just say I don't get it.
Bloggers who don't put their e-mail addresses on their profiles. I sometimes get comments that I would love to answer personally via e-mail but that I can't reply to because there is no e-mail address to be found anywhere on the commenter's blog or profile. Are you afraid of spam? I have my e-mail address on my profile, and I don't get spam from it. If you're really worried about that sort of thing, write your address on a piece of paper, scan it in, and put it on your sidebar as a graphics file. (This is even less of a pet peeve than the others: it's really just a request.)
Attractive men who say that they can't find enough sex. Men, you can find plenty of sex, and it really isn't that difficult. Figure out what you like best to day, and throw up an ad onto your local craigslist. And then have the sex. If you aren't having enough sex, it's not because decent sex is hard to find. It's because you're throwing up barriers. Either you're being too picky about the guys you'll have sex with (Trust me, there is not an area anywhere in this great world of ours that doesn't have a ready supply of hot, willing men. And if there is such an area, you don't live there.) or you're elevating sex into something more than it's meant to be. Sex doesn't always have to be a transforming spiritual experience; sometimes, it can just be fun. And, believe me, having an adequate amount of sex for fun doesn't decrease the probability that at some point you will have sex that's a transforming spiritual experience. You'll just have a lot more fun in the meantime. By the way, the issues surrounding why you're not having more sex are very similar to the issues surrounding why you're still single (and, really, really, I am not trying to be mean here), but that's a post for another time.


Anonymous said...

Have to tell you, plenty of tops get really into sucking cock, and really want to know a bottom's dick size and whether they are cut or uncut. As such, it's become really SOP to provide that information upfront.

The Neighbors Will Hear said...

I'll buy that cock size and circumcisional status are statistics that should be routinely supplied. But if you're only providing one pic, and it only shows your cock, you're pretty much saying, "Here is my best feature." From my ads, at least, it should be clear that having a great cock isn't going to move you to the front of the line.

Anonymous said...

The first is a common issue. But I'm guessing it's something related to how many guys have a picture-perfect ("picture" being the key word) ass compared to how many guys are extremely good bottoms.

Or maybe people don't know how to take a pic of their butt (haven't figured out the timer function?)

The second problem shouldn't even exist. If someone wants to be anonymous, they can make a new gmail acct and use that on the blog. Odd that more people don't do that.

The third... There are many types of barriers, some a person puts up, some other people throw up at you.

But I really don't think the MH/CL mode works for everyone. Some seem to have the magic touch, or luck, or, I guess, a very long log-in time. Others don't. I've had too many conversations with friends with similar experiences to mine. Few responses that don't flame out quickly (usually without explanation). Others where the person is very much not who they said they were.

It becomes, first, discouraging, and then, pointless. Why waste time on something that doesn't give results?

Personally, meeting people in the flesh tends to yield much better results.

Though I can't wait to find out why I'm still single.

Canberrabiker said...

Ahem - I must admit I didn't even know about email link capability until you pointed it out.

So I've added my email addie.

Thanks for the heads up (I think)