More Songs About Buildings and Craigslist

Actually, it's been a while since I made fun of anybody on Craigslist. I don't think I've even looked at the missed connections ads since sometime last month. What if they're not there any more? What if gay men everywhere have decided that if they see a hot guy in a bar, they should just go up to him and say hi rather than staring at their drinks and then rush home to post an mc ad? Man, I crack myself up sometimes. (This isn't one of those times, but still.)

Anyway, I'm actually not going to knock this ad. I don't think he's for real, but I bet he gets three hundred responses (as always, sic throughout):

Tough Love - 27

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Reply to: pers-423322493@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-15, 3:17PM EDT


Im looking for a guy who is not a vegan buddhist hippie pussy. I happen to like violence and aggression. I dont see whats wrong with liking violence as long as you use it only when appropriate. My first career goal was to be a NHL player but that didn't work out not im training to be a cage fighter and it fuckin rocks. I get to beat the shit out of dudes and get paid for it...its a wonderful world. In the mean time Im working as a bus driver...it pays the bills but I make sure all my riders know not to start shit cause it will be dealt with harshly. I like to go to punk and metal shows, my past dates have said im a little evil and demented but im also freindly, funny, caring, loyal, and loving once I get to know you. I like to give kisses and hard headbutts. If Im interesting let me know. You'll have a great friend, lover, and protector - if anybody ever hurt you I probably couldn't see you in the hospital cause Id be in jail from going apeshit and tracking the motherfucker down and kicking his face in.

I only have one quibble. Bethesda is not so much the location for former NHL wannabes who are now bus-driving cage fighter wannabes. Unless he lives with his blue-haired grandmother or he's also a partner in a law firm. And in either of those cases, his dating time's going to be limited.

Oh, and if you're one of those vegan Buddhist hippie pussies, and you're feeling rejected by this guy, drop me a line. I adore vegan Buddhist hippie pussies. And I have lentils!