Remember the good old days, readers? Back when I used to make fun of the poor, unfortunate souls who posted ads in the Missed Connections section of Craigslist? I was feeling nostalgic earlier this afternoon, so I went and checked them out. They did not disappoint. Exempli gratia (The pictures are not from the ads: I just thought you might enjoy looking at them.):
Aquatic Center Changing Room - Have some Decency - m4m - 24
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2007-10-29, 11:30AM EDT
For god's sake, there is no need to walk around with your nasty old-man meat hanging out. I realize that there are showers, and it is a changing room, but you have a towel for a reason. wrap it around yourself when you're strolling around.
You most likely JUST got out of the pool, and are still wearing your bathing suit... keep it on for another few minutes. it's actually easier than removing it, and walking back to the shower.
Are you bitter that you're now old and wrinkled? thus sharing your pain with the world? what makes you so special that you think your over-cooked hot dog is worth showcasing??
And this is a special note to the guy in the sauna. Thank you, now I have a completely rational fear of closed doors. Every time i approach a door, I recoil in fear at the thought of you on the other side, striking a captain morgan pose, sans towel... so whenever anybody opens the door, they get a face full of your nasty hispanic churro.
The funny part was, you had a towel, and there was more than enough room in the sauna. so next time, wrap up, and don't camp on the other side of the door. you will give somebody a complex.
I used bold for the last two paragraphs because the poster used bold. I guess he really wanted to make it a special note.
I've noticed an odd disconnect lately. I very much enjoy looking at young, fit men, but I have no visceral sexual interest in them. Perhaps this guy exemplifies why. How full of yourself do you have to be to be offended by seeing someone naked in the shower or sauna, just because that guy's not as attractive as you think you are?
I'm really not saying all twenty-four-year-old guys are like this guy: clearly they're not. But I think that it's natural and expected for younger guys to be vain. I just find that vanity makes a guy less desirable. (I still find them plenty fun to look at, obviously.) And around here, there's no shortage of fit older men who either don't know or have the sense to act like they don't know how hot they are.
And then there's this.
carl - daytrader - thank you - m4m - 43
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2007-10-29, 3:28AM EDT
it goes something like this:
man i was very attracted to pointed you out at omega
you were w/ one of the nicest guys i know in dc
a master painter from minnesota who did a fine job on richard's apartment
struck up a convo w/ you so as to introduce you to mr dubai
convo over a cigarette about your mystery lebanese boyfriend
shared some convos about your "vault" diana and her love life
more convos about your first official "date" in many years
and much deserved excitement from us both
summer of convos about would-be escapes to peaceful beaches
discovery that we both love microcaps
warm hugs when i was recovering from my mr guatemala summer fiasco
an invite to a mormon "mountain meadows massacre" movie date
some fiery sunday conversations at our lady of fox n hounds
more convos over my friend mike
who was pining away and lusting after you
for good reason
a warm feeling whenever i saw you because i was growing to like you
and then this evening...
you put your hands on my back and gave me
the unsolicited massage i have waited for
during many months as i sat and dealt w/ the gay jungle
and the constant obsession of gay men over dicks
the outfits that clothe the bodies they are appended to
longing for a little substance
and a little warmth
from a real man
amongst many who seem to have forgotten that even a gay life
can be at least a little more
than just another orgasm
and that a little warmth
can go a long way
on a chilly fall night
I'm going to surprise you all by admitting that I'm not such a hard ass that I don't find that sweet and even a little bit touching. So much so that I'm willing even to overlook the antipathy towards capital letters. (Someone who's 43 should know better.) But, dude. If you're going to be sweet about someone who obviously has at least some sort of significant affection for you, send the guy an e-mail (or, you know, talk to him, but I reckon I shouldn't expect miracles). It sounds like you move in a fairly tight but fairly large circle. Somebody's going to see this, recognize Carl, and tell him. Maybe you're counting on that. But if the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't you want to hear it directly from Carl, rather than from some of your friends who might, let's face it, snicker?
There's more going on in that ad. It raises (but does not beg: don't get me started) the question of why it can be so difficult for American men to admit and display affection for each other. It also makes me wonder why people think that -- perhaps except within a committed partnership -- orgasms and warmth have to be mutually exclusive. Sure, a hot fuck can be just a hot fuck, but you can still have some warmth for the other guy, and there's nothing wrong with that. Climate change notwithstanding, we could all use a little more warmth. I think both of those things are tied up with the puritanism that I ranted so inelegantly about in my last post. I don't want to explore the connection any further right now, but it's something to think about.