Despite the fact that I've been having hardly any sex lately (The girls were over this past weekend, and since last Thursday's three encounters, I've had only a fun-but-unremarkable session with young Torless on Sunday evening and a fun-but-even-less-remarkable threeway with a couple of bear bottoms on Tuesday.), I found myself anticipating Thursday with a decided lack of interest in hooking up. There was an eager but inexperienced sub bottom who wanted to come over for the full nine yards, but for whatever reason (lack of cheeseburgers, perhaps), the idea of spanking a guy, giving him a full-body shave, tying him down, dripping hot wax all over him, and fucking him -- taking pictures all the while -- seemed like more trouble than it was worth. Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd type, and a sentiment I never thought I'd have.
Anyway, I still had the massage table set up, and since b&c is due back later today, I might not get a chance to use it again for a while. So I emailed my buddy (friend without privileges, in this case) Brad to ask if he'd like to come to brunch on Sunday and come for a massage on Thursday. He replied that he was leaving for Provincetown on Saturday and so would be unable to attend brunch but that he would love a massage.
Brad is my favorite guy to have on my table. He doesn't want to maintain a conversation while he's being massaged, but at the same time, he makes a lot of (apparently involuntary) noise that lets me know I'm doing a good job. Plus, he's both big and fit: he's 6'4 or 6'5 and has broad shoulders and a wide frame. There's plenty of room to work in. He's easy on the eyes: shaved head, nice prominent nipples, well-shaped ass. And he doesn't shy away from intense sensations. I wish that I had an audio track of last night's massage so that you could hear the variety of noises he produced, especially leading up to and directly after his ejaculation.
As I've said before, massage is not primarily a sexual experience for me. It's about following and channeling energy, and in some ways, there's a very spiritual component. In the past, I might have hesitated to find spirituality in standing beside a naked man, pinching his nipple with one hand, and stroking his cock with the other hand until he cums, but Will assures me that there's a legitimate spirituality to gay sexuality. Besides, I honestly find giving a massage (including the stroking to orgasm) a meditative experience.
All the same, shortly before Brad stopped by last night, I was feeling a bit uneasy. I'd worked later than I'd anticipated, and then I'd gone to Costco and there'd been an unfortunate produce incident in the driveway when I got home, so I was a bit frazzled. And I hadn't given anyone this sort of massage in quite some time. There's always a bit of trepidation: what if I don't feel the energy flow this time? I did my best to make the environment conducive. I warmed the oil, I darkened the room, and I put my CD of the Byrd masses for five, four, and three voices (three different masses on one CD) on to play. When Brad arrived, he was tired and in a very massage-receptive mood: he was oozing both need and gratitude, and that can only help. He slipped out of his clothes and lay face down on the massage table, and I put some oil on my hands and began to work on the back of his neck.
I needn't have worried about losing my feel. I was working on the first shoulder when I stopped thinking about anything else but what I was doing. I've said before that giving a massage is something like playing an instrument, but I don't play an instrument, and it occurred to me after I was done with Brad that massaging is also a lot like singing. All of my energy was focused on his body, my hands, and the interplay between my hands and his body. But it's not really like sex. Sex involves the complete narrowing of focus coupled, one hopes, with the extinction of conscious thought. Massage (and singing) involves the intense focus without the sometimes overwhelming sexual physical sensation, so it's much more mental. I might, for example, notice that my hands have moved too quickly on a particular stroke, so I make an immediate correction, but I don't think much beyond my hands, at least most of the time: during an hour or more rubbing a guy, the mind's likely to wander occasionally, particularly if you're doing something very repetitive. But for the most part there's just a concentrated focus that begets a great calm.
From a logistical standpoint, this massage was a lot like most others. I started with the neck, then spent a lot of time on the shoulders before moving on to the upper back, lower back, glutes, legs, and feet. But I gave more time to different areas this time. The insides of his thighs. His calves. His feet.
There's a moment in every massage when I've finished the back and have squeezed the ass and have dribbled some oil on the back of the thigh and, in the process of working the oil into the thigh, my hands brush against the other guy's testicles. They're always warmer than the legs, and the touch usually causes the other guy to shiver a little. And that's a big part of what draws me inevitably back to the center, though more to the ass than to the testicles. I'm drawn to the heat, to the energy. I likely would have gotten back there sooner with Brad, but as I was working his legs and feet, he was almost whimpering with pleasure, so I lingered. Eventually, though, I gave a few long strokes (starting at the feet, all the way up the legs, my hands crossing at the ass, then up along the back to the shoulders, then everything reversed), and then I grabbed the oil and turned my attention to Brad's ass.
There are hollows all over a man's body, and when possible, I prefer to leave a pool of oil there and work from it. So I'll leave a pool of oil beneath a guy's adam's apple or on his sternum or in his bellybutton or in the hollow above his cock. Similarly, I'll pool oil in the small of the back and, especially, in the dimple at the top of his ass crack. From discussions I've had with Brad at other times, I've gotten the distinct impression that anal sex (from either top or bottom) is not so much his thing, and he has a tight ass, so I always approach it slowly and carefully. I coat my fingers well with oil and lightly rub up and down his crack until it's very slick and he's had plenty of time to relax. Then I slide a finger in and begin working on his prostate. It seems that each time I massage him, I spend longer on his prostate, and he enjoys it more. And last night was no exception. I began with my middle finger, which is something of a blunt tool, and very lightly traced the outline of the prostate. His response was a near-constant sighing coupled with occasional tight squeezes of his ass around my finger. At the same time, my index finger was pointing north, lying in his crack,and my pinkie was pointing south, rubbing his balls. Throughout, my left hand continued working his back, shoulders, and neck.
After a Kyrie's worth with my middle finger, I pulled it slowly out and eased my index finger in. I could feel his prostate with much more exactness then, and I began to ratchet up the intensity of my probing while staying more and more focused right on the spot. His sighing had given way to some sort of combination of growl and moan (it seems only fair that a growl and a moan should combine into a groan, but somehow, they don't), and I could see that his cock, which he'd repositioned so it was no longer wedged between his abdomen and the table, was leaking a significant amount of precum. Second (perhaps) only to the time when a guy's approaching ejaculation, when I have my finger in his ass and he's reacting with every push against the prostate is the time when I most feel the energy flow: when I most feel like I'm completing a circuit. I think I kept that up for an entire Credo.
Eventually, though, I needed to move on, so I withdrew the index finger, gave three or four more full body strokes, and told Brad to flip over while I went to reheat the oil. I also washed my hands: his ass had been scrupulously clean, but it's better to begin the facial massage with hands that aren't too oily.
When I got back, Brad was on his back, with his eyes closed, and he seemed already to be very relaxed after the intensity of the prostate massage. I spent a minute on the tops of his shoulders and then worked my way up his jaw and to his temples. He sighed and got an almost beatific smile on his face as I worked his forehead and the top of his head and then spent more time just below his ears and along the side of his neck. Then I spent a couple of minutes using three fingers on each hand to simultaneously massage his forehead, temples, and under his eyes. (This is a good technique if someone has unhappy sinuses, but it's also great for general relaxation.) He was the very picture of contentment.
I worked on his arms next with the fronts of his shoulders, then squeezing and rubbing his biceps and his forearms before giving him a thorough hand massage. After squeezing between his thumb and forefinger, I took his hand between both of mine and gently rolled it around. He seemed to like that particularly, on both sides.
I have no idea what he's like when he's actually having sex, of course, but when I start on the more sensitive areas, most notably his nipples, there's not much of a change from when I'm working on his face or arms. His smile is perhaps a bit more animated, and there's a bit more sound coming from him, but it just seems like slightly more of the same. I did work on the torso for a while, on his pecs and nips and then down and along his anterior pelvis. His cock stayed soft, but his body seemed simultaneously relaxed and aroused. I was working from a pool of oil in his navel, and when I'd put a little more pressure on the pelvis, he'd react audibly, but his body wouldn't tense.
I worked the fronts of his legs relatively quickly, and then I moved so that I was on his right about two thirds of the way from his nipples down to his cock. I took hold of his cock very gently with my right hand and began to brush his nipples with my left, and he immediately began to get more animated. His cock began to lengthen, but I was working it very slowly, and it took a bit longer before he started to get hard, but there was a very intense moment when I felt him suddenly become much more solid. My left hand had been moving around his chest, but I began to concentrate on his right nipple. I continued stroking his cock with a very measured pace, but my left hand increased the intensity -- though never very high -- on his nipple. And there followed about five minutes of a slow but steady increase in the speed and depth of his breathing, the volume of his moaning, the rigidity of his muscles.
I never had to change pace or change tactics. He just built and built until he was moaning loudly and shaking all over and his large balls were tight up to his body, and then with a short shout, he began to cum. I continued stroking throughout and beyond the obviously very intense orgasm, until I could tell that he was fighting back the urge to push my hands away. At that point, I just gave a few more strokes and then stopped to wipe him up.
He did manage to get out a "that was unbelievable" before I told him to flip back over. I especially enjoy the post-ejaculation posterior massage. The guy is coming down from an intense orgasm, and his skin is still very soft from all the oil, but it's no longer greasy because he's been lying on a towel. He was very nearly asleep at this point, and I worked just a few more minutes on the top and back of his head, his lower back, and his shoulders. At the very end, my strokes got lighter but slower, my hands finally coming to rest and then almost imperceptibly leaving his body, like a note disappearing on the wind.
Brad was profuse in his thanks afterwards. We chatted for a couple of minutes, but he was very sleepy and needed to get home, and I find conversation difficult immediately after a massage. I'm still in that very calm place, and while I enjoy being thanked and don't want to be rude, I'd like to stay in that very calm place for as long as possible, so let's just catch up another time, ok?
Anyway, the whole experience was awesome, and I really can't go so far in between massages again.