2 years ago
Collector: Mr. Dude?
C: I'm calling about your credit card bill for the GAP. It's delinquent.
T: Oh crap. I forgot I got that thing, and then I only used it the once. Can I just pay you over the phone?
C: You want to pay the bill?
T: Yeah, I just forgot. I got the card to get a discount, and I'm not the most organized person in the world. You can take a payment over the phone, right?
C: Nobody ever wants to pay.
T: Well, I owe the money.
C: I've been making calls for almost eight hours, and you're the first person who's just offered to pay. Most of the people yell at me like it's my fault that they owe money.
TED: I'm sorry, Ball's not here right now.
Solicitor: May I speak to Mrs. AndChain?
TED: There is no Mrs. AndChain. [Not entirely true: there is a Mrs. AndChain, but she's eighty-five and lives in New Jersey, and b&c likely wouldn't appreciate my referring solicitors to his mother.]
Solicitor: I'll call again later.
Solicitor: Hello, Ball?
TED: He isn't home right now?
Solicitor: Can I speak to Mrs. uh Ampers...
TED: There is no Mrs. AndChain.
Solicitor: Then how did you know what I was going to say?
TED: Because that's Ball's last name.
Solicitor: Then where is he?
TED: He's not here.
Solicitor: I'll call back later.
TED: He'll be home on Sunday, but he won't be interested in what you have to say.