The b&c (my partner, to whom I refer, mostly affectionately, as the ball and chain) is in Cleveland on business most of this week, which means that it should be easier than usual to hook up. But it's also the end of the quarter, so I've been at work a whole lot, and I really haven't been the slut that I'd like to be. But I did manage to have a guy over Tuesday night. He even slept over.
Do you have a rating system for your sexual encounters? I'm not talking about a serious record-keeping system where you make a note of every guy you sleep with and then rate him on several criteria. I just mean something like a scale of one to ten, or maybe letter grades?
These days, I often forget to rate my tricks, but when I remember, I have a three-star rating system that I developed back in the day. It works like this:
One star = that was fun; I'd probably do him again
Two stars = that was hot; now I need a cheeseburger
Three stars = dude, you have to leave right now so I can call my friends and brag
You'll notice the lack of a category for bad sex here. That's because I don't have bad sex anymore. Yeah, I'm sure once a year or so there's an exception, but any guy who's been having sex for long enough to know what he likes has also been having sex for long enough to learn how to ask for it. If a guy's not into what you're into, then don't have sex with him. (If a guy claims to be into it but when you get to his place, he says he's not really into it, then pick up and leave. There's a de minimis rule here. If you leave within ten minutes or before any of your clothes come off, it's non-sex, and you don't have to rate it. ) I, for example, won't hook up with any man who isn't willing to kiss. I used to make exceptions for particularly gifted cocksuckers, but not any more. You got issues with kissing men you're not dating? Fine, but find someone else to throw you down on the bed and bang your brains out.
It's pretty easy to make sure that a guy meets your minimum requirements, but anything beyond that is somewhat dependent on chance. Careful questioning can increase your odds of getting from one star to two. It also helps if you have pretty broad tastes and know how to enjoy yourself. Plus, it's really not that unusual for me to want a cheeseburger, so if I were keeping track, I'd guess that two-thirds or three-quarters of my hookups are two-star affairs. Three-star hookups are pretty rare, in part because most of my friends got bored with my bragging a couple of years ago, but mostly because a two-star hookup is already pretty damned fun, so a guy really needs to press my buttons to get the third star.
Last night's guy was decidedly one star. For a while, I was concerned that he might not even make that, and I spent some time trying to remember when the last time was that I'd hooked up with someone who hadn't passed the baseline. I never did figure that out, even after at least three seconds of concentrated thought. Oh well.
I've been chatting with this guy for nearly six months, off and on, but we'd never been able to arrange a convenient time, and I wasn't sure we'd ever actually hook up. Boy's got issues. He was all about chatting me up and calling me "sir" and saying that he was submissive and wanted to be ordered around. And I wasn't sure that I was buying that act, but I do love a good sub bottom, so it seemed worth taking a chance. And, to be honest, we'd chatted enough that I figured if the sex wasn't all that, he'd at least be worth talking to, and if that was the case, I could always chat with him for a while, then kick him out and pull someone else off the Internet.
He also told me that he hadn't been with a guy in a long time. (Boy's got issues.) He wouldn't say just how long, which always means a really long time, so I was also getting that doesn't-know-what-he-wants vibe. But he said that while he rarely drinks, if he has a few stiff ones (!), he turns into a real submissive. He was still being a little wishy washy about coming over, so I got really strict with him, and that closed the deal. I told him I'd liquor him up and then he could sleep over afterwards if he needed to. I also told him to show up in jeans, commando.
I made up a pitcher of a strong punch recipe that I got from an e-buddy and put it in the refrigerator. I'd only seen a somewhat blurry, somewhat old picture of this guy, so I wasn't sure what to expect, but when the doorbell rang and I answered it, I was very happy. He was 45, and had graying hair that had been clipped short. He was 6' tall and weighed 200 lbs, but he was SOLID. Wherever I grabbed him, I felt something hard.
I told him to come in and take off his shirt, and he did. I got him a drink and told him to drink it, and he started making conversation. I couldn't tell whether he wanted me to bark more orders at him or really have a conversation, and I was a little confused by the situation, but he had really nice nipples, so I tugged on them for a while, and when he'd drained a large tumbler of the punch, I topped him off and told him we were going upstairs, and he agreed. He tried to bargain for a cigarette first, but a) nobody smokes in our house, and b) nobody smokes when I'm about to make out with him.
I'd left some porn playing in the bedroom, and he could hear it as I was pushing his ass up the stairs. He asked what it was, and I told him it was Folsom Filth. In case you don't know, Folsom Filth is a pretty hard-core leather video, at least by my standards. It's not something I'd have bought for myself, but the b&c got me a few pornos for my birthday, and one of them was FF (I'm not sure whether there's any actual FFing in FF; it's a long video, and I've only watched a bit of it). A week or so after my birthday, the b&c apologized for the video. He'd watched it (apparently the gift was as much for him as it was for me) and had been appalled by the content. I acknowledged that it was pretty hard core, but told him it was no big deal. I didn't tell him that I also thought it was pretty hot. The b&c is all about the vanilla, and while he knows that I occasionally tie a guy to the bed, he doesn't know the particulars about my kinks (which, in any case, are a lot tamer than a lot of what's in FF.)
Anyway, issuesboy was really into the DVD and kept saying how hot it was, which makes me think that if I'd gotten him really drunk, he might have turned into a real submissive. As it was, though, the orders he was willing to follow were pretty limited. Still, we made out for a while, and he could handle some moderately intense tit work, so, like any time when my mouth is sucking on a lower lip or a perky nip, I was very hard. When I ordered him to suck my cock, though, he refused point blank. I figured that this was a typical bitchy sub move, so I straddled his chest and pushed my cock in his face, but he really just wasn't interested. He told me that he only sucks cock when he's really drunk, but my guess is that even then he doesn't do much more than lick. Basically, this guy pretty much wants to be gotten wasted then shoved on his stomach and fucked silly.
And there's nothing wrong with that, but maybe let me know up front so that I don't discover it after half an hour of messing around.
Whatever. He did have great nipples, and he had a totally hot, very rimmable ass, so I put him on his stomach (facing the TV, of course) and ate him for an extended period. Then I put him back on his back and worked his nipples for a while. He was verbally unresponsive (boy's got issues), but he did have a good time, and after about ninety minutes of play, I was stroking his cock with one hand, fingering his ass with the second, and chewing on his nipple, and he blew his load. But he was really nonverbal, and he was a pretty light cummer, so I kept on stroking him and working his nipple after he came, and he got very sensitive and finally started making some noise, so I said, "Oh, did you cum?" and he said, "Yeah, I came really hard," which totally cracked me up. I couldn't stop laughing for a couple of minutes. Then I stroked myself off and showed him what a real load looks like.
So, not really the greatest sex but still one star. Partly because I had an idea going in that his lack of experience and general shyness meant that this would be a low-intensity encounter. And partly because I'm intrigued with the possibility of getting him drunker and/or teaching him to loosen up a little. Besides, we talked for a while after sex and before we fell asleep, and he was pretty interesting. He has a Ph.D. and reads a lot. And it was really a nice body to sleep next to.
The next morning, he said goodbye and said that he'd call to let me know he'd made it home safely. It's not that uncommon for guys to do that, but for the life of me, I never know why. Am I sitting around worrying that the sheer power of my sexual presence has left them too weak to drive and fearful that they'll wreck their car now that they know that their peak sexual experience is behind them? Not so much. I think maybe this guy just wants somebody to talk to. He's 45 and he's never had a boyfriend (or a girlfriend), so he's obviously very shy: he's certainly attractive enough. Anyway, he called when he got home and said that he'd be in touch when he gets back in town from his conference. He also said that sometime it'd be hot for me to arrange to have a bunch of tops over so that he could get fucked by all of them. I was noncommittal on that last request. It's not really my scene, and until the guy demonstrates that he can get fucked by me, I'm not likely to invite a bunch of other tops over to get disappointed. In any case, it's kind of a toss-up whether I'll ever hear from him again, and if I don't, it's not great loss.
On the other hand, if I do, I'll likely invite him over again, and if we become friends, then maybe I'll invite a bunch of guys over to fuck him on his birthday. That would be more personal and less expensive than buying him his own copy of Folsom Filth.
3 years ago