More Mouseover Madness, Minor Holiday Edition

Bastille Day is, of course, the most important July holiday for Americans, but that doesn't mean there aren't others. You doubtless already know that July 15th is both Cow Appreciation Day and Gummi Worm Day, but were you aware that it is also the birthday of Willie Ames and Rembrandt? I'm guessing that you didn't, but in large swaths of the American Midwest, it's traditional on the ides of July to hold CAGWAR (Cow Appreciation Gummi Worm Ames Rembrandt) parties, where the main event is the ongoing, and occasionally nasty, argument as to whether Rembrandt or Mr. Ames shines more brightly in the artistic firmament. Most Midwesterners come down firmly on the side of Mr. Ames, but occasionally, in college towns, you'll find a crank who argues in favor of Rembrandt, mostly because he has a toothpaste named after him.

I couldn't interest my friends in a CAGWAR party, so I celebrated the fifteenth in my own way. I'm afraid that many of the details will have to wait for two other posts. Don't blame me: blame my one meatspace friend (without privileges) who reads this blog. He and I are going to a concert on Saturday night, and if I mention here that I did water sports last night, he's likely to tease me about it during the pre-concert dinner hour, and the fear of that teasing would force me to arrive at his place with two hours of prepared conversation about safe topics. Then again, I know that he thinks that rimming is disgusting (unless it's being done to him: the hypocrite), and he's never teased me about that, and it's possible that I might have talked about eating ass once or twice here, so maybe I'm overreacting. Still, better safe than sorry, yes? So let's keep the whole water sports thing entre nous until I can come up with a suitable euphemism for "pissing on a submissive in the shower." ("Posits" perhaps? Nah.)

Anyway, I celebrated by placing a craigslist ad offering free massages. Infuriatingly, CL didn't forward about two-thirds of the responses until about seven hours after I'd posted the ad. Fortunately, the remaining responses were enough to allow me to schedule three massages. They were a lot of fun, and I'll write about them in some detail later. In preparation, I want you all to ponder whether it's possible to call an attractive, full-bodied Latino man "Rubenesque" and not have the term be pejorative. I'll expect 1,000 words (exactly) on the subject from each of you by Thursday, and kindly remember that I'm very strict about matters of language.

Sometime after the third massage was over, and when, in fact, CAGWAR Day had technically been over by a few minutes, I had a very eager, very cute submissive show up for two hours of play. During that time, not only did I engage in the nearly unprecedented (for me) water sports, but I managed to keep my work boots on the whole time. Here again, there will be much additional detail later, mostly because it was an awesome session, and in preparation for that post, I want you to ponder whether the sort of boots typically worn by a construction worker can properly be called "work boots" when they're being worn by a CPA. In this case, I believe you should be able to answer in twenty-five or fewer words.