Suck Big Cock

Well. Blogger has decided that I'm the sort of adult blog that requires a content warning. I could try to muster up some outrage about that, but it's really kind of hard to argue with their judgment on this one. It seems more reasonable to view my new even-more-not-safe-for-work-than-the-run-of-the-mill-not-safe-for-work designation as something of an accomplishment. Go me. Suck big cock.


On balance, I'd have to guess that the warning in question would encourage rather than discourage potential readers, except, perhaps, for the poor unfortunate soul who reached The Neighbors Will Hear by Googling "Elizabeth Futral." Oops. The only downside that's immediately obvious is that I can no longer tell where any referrals come from. So I guess that will make me seem twice as ungrateful to all of the kind people whom I was rude to for not putting on my non-existent blogroll even though they'd put me on theirs. Sorry, guys: I really am grateful. It's just that a blogroll is more responsibility than I can handle. Suck big cock.


While I'm getting all meta, I'll mention that a month or two ago I noticed that my average daily visit numbers were up significantly. And then over the last month or so, they stayed the same or perhaps grew a little bit. I couldn't really think of any reason why that should be so: the blog had what I assume is a typical growth curve in the first year, then readership leveled off or grew very slowly. But then I looked at the referral log, and I noticed that just under 40% of all my hits were referrals from a Google image search. And for a while, I couldn't figure out what the search terms were, even though it was clear that all of the hits were pointing to two different pictures in the same post. Some more digging made it clear exactly what the search phrase was: suck big cock.


The picture above is one of the three pictures that the search seemed to be retrieving. And he, like most Brazilian men, is certainly worth staring at. But there doesn't seem to be any particular reason to think that when he wakes up in the morning, his main goal for the day is to suck big cock.


That particular post is a mouseover post, and the picture above is what lies beneath one of the other images that comes up most often in the search. I couldn't find the original of the most popular image, but if you look at that post, it's the guy with the white pants halfway down his spectacular ass. There are a lot of things I could fantasize about doing with that guy, but they mostly relate to his chest or his ass. I certainly don't look at that guy and think, (from either a bottom or a top perspective) "Suck big cock."


The picture above is just a shot of a couple of random Brazilians. I don't know what sort of activities they might get up to with each other, but I will say that my (tragically limited) sexual experience with Brazilians indicates that most of them are pretty and hung. So you could do a lot worse than to go to Rio if what you're looking to do is to suck big cock.


I've never been anything like a size queen, and while I find some large penises aesthetically appealing, others leave me cold. Most of the truly huge johnsons that I've come across (sometimes literally) have been attached to dedicated bottoms. I remember in particular the very slender young black man who showed up at my apartment seven or eight years ago when I was still quite experienced. He was sporting a dick that was easily in excess of nine inches and also very thick, but I remember him, and his cock, principally because he was the first guy I ever fisted. The fisting I can pretty much take or leave, and I do it only very rarely these days, but he gave terrific head while I was working my fist into him, and then when I had managed to close my fingers into the fist, it was only a matter of a minute or so of twisting before he came without his cock being touched. Suck big cock.


Around the same time, I started to chat intensely with a guy from Pennsylvania (or maybe West Virginia). He suggested that we meet halfway between us, in Hagerstown, for an overnight visit, and he picked up the hotel bill and the tab at the restaurant. I attacked him in the elevator on the way up to the room, and, as he was a bit shy, that made him very happy. His screen name referred to a large endowment, but I'd only seen clothed pictures of him, and I was totally unprepared for the monster rod that I found when I got him undressed. It was probably in ten inches long and eight inches around. I had no idea at all what to do with it. He was, if memory serves, versatile, but I think that mostly we made out and he went down on me and I stroked him some. I don't even remember whether he got off (I assume that I did), but I do remember chatting with him online and apologizing for not having a clue as to how to approach such a huge piece of meat. He told me that most guys just licked it but that there were some bottoms who would go through fire and water to sit on it. He was a nice guy, but too far away to pursue, especially for someone who really doesn't like or know how to suck big cock.