Today's Moment of Introspection

I only worked until 10:30 last night, but when I got home, I was so tired that I walked right past the dinner b&c had left for me, grunted at him, and fell on the bed. At some point I kicked my shoes off, but I never went to the trouble of undressing or getting under the covers. B&c cracked a window for me and left me alone. I forgot to set the alarm, so I didn't wake up until after 6 this morning, and my first thought was to wonder whether I could just put on some shoes and go into the office without changing clothes, which would have saved me a lot of time. But my morning wood was harder even than usual, so I pulled off my pants and reached into my briefs and started to stroke.

I was thinking about my friend D., who really wants to be fucked by a string of guys but who's usually too uptight (and tight, but you just need lube and patience to fix that, and I have plenty of both) to be fucked by more than the skinniest of dildos. He's the strong, silent type, and he calls himself a cowboy, and when I jokingly asked him whether he smokes Marlboros, he told me he does. I was thinking that when b&c goes out of the country for a month later this spring, I might be able to have a bunch of my top and vers buddies over to have a go at him. I spent a while wondering about the practicality, advisability, and morality of that scene, but then I got caught up in the image of him tied to the bed with one of my friends fucking his face while I pound his ass, and I stopped thinking about much of anything and let a very healthy load shoot into my boxer briefs.

Truth is, D.'s not much of a cocksucker, and while I've played with and/or fucked most of my friends at one time or another, I'm not sure that I really want to have sex with a bunch of them at the same time. But I'm not sure that I don't, either. I think there's a compromise: there are two or three who I'm pretty sure would be into that sort of scene and who are generally very low-drama guys. I can invite two of them, and D., over for cocktails and sex and see how it goes.

I'm going to need a lot of gin. Not for me, but D. says that getting drunk really loosens him up, and the other two guys drink like fishes anyway.

I was thinking about all of this as I got into the shower, and it got me pretty stiff again, but I really didn't have time to wank out a second load, and I was still pretty tired, so I did what I usually do in the shower during busy season: I turned the water all the way hot for a few seconds and then I turned it all the way cold for a while, and then I repeated the cycle another two times. This always wakes me up and dissipates any remaining wood.

And I know that you really don't want to know this, but when I do the hot/cold water cure, I invariably time the cycles by singing La Vie en Rose. In the original French, of course. I realize that seems irredeemably faggy, but you will just have to trust that because I have a deep voice and immaculate intonation, it is totally butch.