Midnight. I'm about to get up and get dressed and head home, perhaps via a cheeseburger, but first I'm noticing the braided wicker headboard and the very firm mattress, and I'm wondering why a very firm mattress is fine for me to have sex on but not to sleep on, and I'm remembering that about six days earlier, I was having sex on a sleeping bag on the carpeted floor of an unfurnished apartment and pushing so hard with my thumbs on the neck of the guy between me and the sleeping bag that my thumbs are still sore now, nearly a week later, but at the time, everything felt great. Sex, I think, doesn't erase discomfort, but it certainly defers it.
11:30 pm. Pecs and I are cuddling again, and he's telling me about his cute nephews and how they weren't supposed to be allowed into the cardiac care unit, but his sister brought them anyway, and they helped his mother perk back up, and now she's getting better in a rehab facility, and he's very relieved. He's far chattier than he's ever been. He asks the occasional question about me, and I answer him, but he's not listening to what I'm saying, and I don't really mind. His needs tonight are to be touched, held, and listened to. I'm not sure what my needs are, but they're obviously being met because I'm having a good time, and it really doesn't trouble me that he's so self-absorbed. I'm sure it's because he's been worried about his mom and because nobody else is around to touch or hear him. I don't ask where his partner is. I never do. I've already asked tonight whether his partner is a top, and that's more acknowledgment of his partner's existence than we usually bother with. Pecs, by the way, thinks his partner is probably a bottom, but he isn't sure. My eyebrow rises when he tells me this. My best guess is that the two of them have been together for nearly ten years, and I would have expected them to discuss the matter at some point, but apparently, they just don't get into anal. At least not with each other. Pecs says that he hasn't been fucked "in months."
11:00 pm. Pecs is lying on his side with one leg bent and me straddling the other knee and fucking him. Pecs is an extremely vocal sex partner, and his ability to do all the talking himself is felicitous in that my mouth is constantly busy on some part or other of his body. Usually on his remarkable nipples, but other parts of him are nearly as lickable. Right now he's not talking so much as he is moaning in that way that lets you know that he is definitely feeling more pleasure and excitement than discomfort but that all are present. He does have a very tight ass, and I never really expected to get into it. He has a history of telling me, during the time before we hook up, that he wants me to fuck him. He wants, he says, for me to take care opening his tight ass but then to fuck him hard when he's ready. But when we get together, it never goes that way. His ass usually hasn't been properly prepared, so there's no point in me forcing it. Tonight, though, he was very clean and still smelling pleasantly of soap. And he was alternately in a chatty/cuddly and a very bottom frame of mind. Once I'd used his nips to switch him on, he'd uncharacteristically dived for my cock and gone down on me. The second time he did this, I pulled his ass around to me and started to eat it. I'm pretty sure he's not used to that, and it was hopeless to get him to suck me at the same time, but I was enjoying opening him up too much to mind. My jeans were still on the (very firm, king-sized) bed, so when I'd put him on his stomach and slowly run my tongue down his back and spread his cheeks with my hands (with him talking all the while and commenting about my strong hands and hot tongue and very hard, thick cock) and eaten his ass, it was an easy matter to fish the condom out of my pocket. He didn't even want any lube at first, and I was able to squeeze into him, but the first time I popped out, I asked for lube, and then things were easier. I never did fuck him very deep, but I did work up to a reasonably fast speed, and he was very appreciative. I fuck him for maybe five minutes and then I've had enough. I never do cum, but that's not what I'm here for, either.
10:30 pm. Pecs is telling me what a good cuddler I am. I've unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans (I'm going commando), but I still have them most of the way on. I have his nipple between my lips, which I've wrapped around my teeth so that I can bite him without biting him. Pecs loves to have his nips played with, but he requires intensity without discomfort. It's a tall order, but I'm up to it. His hand feels really good on my cock, though only slightly better than it felt when my fly was closed. We're not going at it very hard right now. We've just finished some extended cuddling. He's been talking about the connection between math and music, and I've been asking him whether he sings any more. The first time Pecs and I hooked up, years earlier, I'd recognized him from an MIT a cappella group that I'd seen perform a couple of times. It had been one of those small world moments, but it has not been much of a topic for continuing conversation. In fact, tonight for the first time I've asked him what his first name is. He told me and then expressed surprise that I didn't know. Maybe I just forgot, but I don't think so. He's also asked me whether I'm going to my 25th reunion, and I've reminded him that I graduated a few years after him so that I haven't yet had to face that particular indicator of my advancing age. He tells me that I'm lucky, but I point out that he still has all his hair. Then I think that it's time to turn up the intensity again, so I go for the nipple and pull him back to the present.
10:00 pm. I'm standing in the foyer at the big Potomac house Pecs owns with his partner, and we're making out. He seems especially glad to see me. I have my hand down the back of his shorts, squeezing his ass, and I'm sucking on his very plump lower lip. I refuse his offer of water, follow him to the bedroom, and put my glasses and cellphone on the dresser while he very quickly gets naked. I push him down on the bed. It's dark, so he doesn't see me roll my eyes when he tells me how horny and forceful I am.
9:30 pm. My plans to spend the rest of the night quietly go out the window because I've forgotten to log out of gay.com, and Pecs says hello. He asks whether I'm looking, and I hadn't been, but suddenly I am. I ask whether he's looking, but now he's getting all chatty, asking me whether I know about Leona Lewis and how I've been and all that. Pecs always closes the deal in about twelve seconds, so I wonder if he's temporizing while he's chatting with someone else, but that's not like him. I'm about to ask him again whether he wants to play, but he tells me about having just moved his mother from the CCU to a rehab facility, so I figure he's not up for anything and express sympathy. Then he asks again whether I'm horny, and when I ask him whether he wants me to come over, I say I can be there in half an hour. I go to the bathroom and wash what's left of Torless off me, then I slide on some sandals too hideous to wear in public and get in the car and head off.
9:00 pm. I've just kissed Torless goodbye. There's this guy from a craigslist ad I posted a long time ago, and I'm supposed to hook up with him tonight, after many many backs and forths, but a few hours earlier, after saying that he was free any time after 8, he went silent when I gave him my cell number and asked when I should call him. I had expected this, and I've had a pretty great time with Torless, so it seems like a good time to have a gay night. I get a bowl of chocolate mousse and settle in to watch figure skating on ESPN.
8:30 pm. Torless is saying, "Oh yeah, TED. This is what I've missed." I've got him on his stomach, and I'm pounding his ass hard. He started off sitting on my cock, with me twisting his nipples about as hard as I could. My fingers can't inflict enough pain to make him complain, but twice tonight he's said "Easy" when I've been biting his nipples harder than I dare bite anyone else's. It's been a while since Torless and I have hooked up, mostly because he's a little bit flaky. Planning anything with him is pointless, but when we both happen to be available at the same time, he is one hot fuck. Already tonight, I've managed to get my tongue deeper into him than I'd thought possible. I felt his inner ring relax and my tongue go beyond it, he going wild but still managing to keep my cock down his throat, even when I smack his ass at the same time. Torless is panting now and telling me to cum. That usually works on me, and I'm pretty close, but I'm not sure I want to ejaculate, so I accelerate, then I tense up and shake, then I stop and collapse. I'm still hard, and I give a few more lazy thrusts, but Torless thinks that I've cum, and he's pleased. In some ways, it feels like I have climaxed, so I've almost faked myself out as well. I know that I haven't really cum, but I've gotten everything I wanted -- and more than I expected -- from the encounter, and I feel great. Torless tries to jerk off with my cock still inside him, but I reckon he must have cum a bunch of times already today because he stops and says, "It's not going to work." Then, uncharacteristically, he wants to cuddle. Only for a minute, but it's still unprecedented. And nice.
8:00 pm. I'm lying back, murmuring my appreciation as Torless hungrily sucks my cock, having finally gotten my jeans off. He was all excited when he found no underwear. I wrap my legs around his head because I'm way too lazy right now to reach down and grab his head and shove it up and down on me. We've spent the last half hour with him on his back and me on top of him, holding his newly short hair (it looks great on him) in my hands as I kiss him and then bite his nipples. You can lick or suck Torless' nips, but he doesn't come alive until they feel teeth, and then you can go pretty far in that direction without getting to the point of diminishing returns. He's been telling me how much he's missed it and how he wants to do this more often, and having his nipples between my teeth spares me having to either pretend like I believe him or explain to him just how flaky he is. The first time I hooked up with Torless, he was eighteen, and now he's pushing twenty-five, but we've only managed to play a dozen or so times, and eight of those have been in the last two years. When we first played, he wouldn't let me in his ass. When he rediscovered me, at twenty-one or twenty-two, he wanted me in his ass right away. He only became a really good lay when I taught him how much he likes rough nipple work. Nowadays, he still can't go fifteen minutes without telling me that he wants me to fuck him, but when I clamp down on the nipples, he forgets all about it, so as long as I continue to work the nips hard (really, really not hard for me to do), I control how long it takes until he absolutely, positively has to have me up his ass.
7:30 pm. I open the door and Torless walks in. He asks me how I am, and I grab him and start to kiss him, and he forgets how to speak, always an improvement in his case, I'm afraid. I grab his nipples and he melts further, so I turn him around and bush him towards the stairs. I pull his pants down over his ass while we're headed upstairs. I direct him to the bedroom, where I've opened up the memory foam and turned on the lava lamp. He knows what's coming and doesn't seem surprised or resist at all when I throw him down on the bed and climb on top of him. He's like a caterpillar shutting himself up in a cocoon: afraid of where he's going, but excited about where he's going to end up. And knowing he has no choice.
7:00 pm. The cellphone rings, and I see that it's Patrick. He wants directions, but I have to tell him that it's too late. We'd originally planned for him to show up at 5:30 or 6, but he'd been detained somehow (I never got the details quite right), and he'd still have to drive about more than half an hour to get to me. I'd just about given up hope that he would be able to come at all when I saw Torless online and told him to come over ASAP. Earlier in the day, I'd told Torless that I could host after 8, thinking that I could play with both of them, if they both showed up. I feel bad about telling Patrick not to come, especially because he's been after me for years (off and on, mostly off, and never very insistently) to meet him. The timing has never been right, so I'd never agreed to meet, and now that I have, it's wrong yet again. Still, he's horribly late, so it's at least as much his fault as mine, and he's very gracious when I tell him we'll have to play another time soon. And we will, but right now, I have to jump in the shower and get ready for Torless, who's asked me how long we have, and who's gotten very excited when I said, "Hours, if you like."
5:00 pm. B&c is leaving for Baltimore, where he's going to have dinner with a friend before the two of them attend the evening's performance of Madama Butterfly. I'm still not sure exactly what's going on, but I figure if I end up watching TV and jerking off to porn, I'll still have a good time. I'm hoping for more, though. When b&c asks me what I'm going to do with the evening, I tell him, "I'm not sure yet, but I'll figure out something."