Saturday, January 26, 2008

Bastard


There is nothing, readers, that we here at TNWH hate more than a moral dilemma. I am, of course, a deeply moral person, though it certainly can be said that I choose my morals somewhat more carefully than others do.


Anyway, there's this boy. He's 24, but I still think of that as a boy, and he likes to be called a boy, so there's this boy. And this boy wants to be dominated. He wants to be humiliated, and he wants to be force fed my cock and then he wants me to fuck him. And he says that he hasn't sucked a cock in a couple of years and hasn't been fucked in five years, and he wants it rough.

Naturally, he has a girlfriend. Or at least he says he does: I'm not entirely sure the girlfriend exists since every time he's chatted me up in the last couple of weeks, I've asked him whether he's been boning the girlfriend, and he always says that she's out of town. Anyway, that's not the moral dilemma. I have no problems sleeping with guys who have wives and girlfriends. What's the argument on that one usually? Something like, well, how would you like it if they did the same thing with your boyfriend? Go for it, dude.


The moral dilemma arises because of this boy's inability to shut up. He chats me up all the time, and he always wants to talk about what I'm going to do with and to him. In part, this sounds like typical wannabe behavior: he has a powerful fantasy that he may or may not like so much when it gets acted out. I do get the impression that this is a guy who'll actually show up and follow through (and if he doesn't, no great loss), but he still wants me to spend a lot of time telling him exactly what I'm going to do. I find such talk tedious. Besides: it's not like I plan the scenes out in advance and follow a script. But I'll usually chat some about what I'm going to do before I tell him that talk is cheap, just to keep him suitably horny and give him something to think about while he's jerking off.


But when you chat a lot before the initial meeting, there's an almost irresistible tendency to, well, escalate. So what started out as a simple push-him-to-his-knees-and-fuck-his-face-then-lube-him-up-and-fuck-his-ass sort of encounter has gotten embellished over time. Bondage, heavy nipple play, blindfolding, and spanking have all been added to the mix. A few days ago, I mentioned shaving him.


The boy is a furry lad, for sure. I reckon you'd call him a cub. And shaving guys is a definite turn on for me. I would, no doubt, have a terrific time turning some or all of him smooth. He initially seemed willing to go along with being shaved, perhaps because he was excited by everything else we were talking about and just hadn't thought it through. But then we were talking later, and he said that he couldn't be shaved because it would bother his girlfriend.


I was already a bit weary of this boy. All of that chat was something of a turn off, and there's a chance that he's the sort who's more trouble than he's worth. I don't really need another so-called submissive who's incredibly demanding. I've already got one of those showing up Tuesday night. He wants me to edge him for two hours, and while it's hot, and while I control his body and what happens to it during that time, it's really a scene of his making, and it has a lot of unnecessary limits imposed on it. I wouldn't do it except that the guy's a marathoner and has a fabulous body. Anyway, when the boy started to renege on the shaving issue, I saw the possibility of another demanding sub. I want my subs to tell me what their limits are right up front and then leave everything else to me. Otherwise, it's not so much submission, you know? So I told him that if he couldn't handle the shaving, I should probably find someone else, and he should find someone who wanted to do to him what he wanted to have done to him. It was a bit harsh, but a boy who's said that he wants to be my bitch probably wants some harsh treatment, no? I figured that either he'd capitulate on the shaving deal or he'd walk away, and either way I'd be happy.

Naturally, he capitulated, but he tried to bargain. He said that I might need to fuck him before I shaved him to make him sufficiently compliant. Like I was born yesterday or something. I held firm and told him that in order to ensure that he would do what he said, I would have to shave him before fucking him. I did allow that if he was tied to the bed, I might allow him to suck my cock while I was shaving him.


So I got what I wanted, but I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing. On the one hand, he's agreed to it, but on the other, it seems a bit like sexual blackmail. I seem to be taking advantage of his desperation. And, assuming that the girlfriend is real, shaving him and sending him back to her seems a bit rough. Of course, he can always tell her that he had to shave himself because he lost a bet, or he can just say he thought he'd try it. Maybe she'll think he's turning metrosexual. Or, you know, maybe she'll dump him because she thinks he's gay. Which might be the best thing for both of them, but it's not really my place to make that decision.

I suppose I could tie him down and threaten to shave him and not follow through, but I have, at the best of times, a tenuous hold on my dom cred, and that would pretty much throw it out the window. Besides, I like shaving hairy guys. The best compromise might be to shave limited parts of him. It maintains my image without too much trauma for the boy. In any case, a full shave would probably take longer than I want to spend.

This is the recurring problem with dom-sub scenes. Doms are supposed to be mean, selfish bastards. I reckon I'm no less selfish than anyone else, but I have to play at being mean, and when playing at being mean shifts towards actually being mean, I get uncomfortable. But it's sometimes really tough to tell what's truly mean in that sort of situation. The gray areas are huge.


Anyway, I'll figure out just how much of a bastard I want to be before he comes over. Or maybe when push comes to shove, he'll chicken out, and I won't have to be a bastard at all.

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