Thursday, January 17, 2008


We here at The Neighbors Will Hear believe in trying to please everyone, so in response to the commenter who called me "long winded" (And I'm not going to attempt to deny that I'm garrulous: is the sky going to claim that it's not blue? Still, yesterday's post was pretty succinct compared to many.), I'm going to try to keep this brief.

Everyone seems to be writing about the new, meaner and leaner version of MRSA. Briefly: I'd have to do research to really address the issue, but not having sex is never an appropriate long-term response to a disease. Sex is a biological imperative, even if you're not a breeder. If you stop having sex, you decrease your chances of picking up some specific maladies. If everyone stops having sex, the human race goes bye bye. Do your part for humanity. If, however, you want to use MRSA as an excuse to avoid the gym, I'm right behind you. (So bend over.)

A conversation at the dinner table this evening:

B&c: I ushered today at Arena Stage's temporary location, and it was a madhouse. It was their first weekday matinee there. The house manager really earned his money. He's a lot like you.
TED: Well hung and immensely intelligent?
B&c: I was thinking more along the lines of laid back and affable.
TED: I guess that's better than poorly dressed and long winded.
B&c: Who would ever call you long winded? You spent like six months reading Villette, and when I asked you what you thought of it, your complete commentary was "eh."
TED: I conveyed a lot with my tone, though.
B&c: Still. Long winded?
TED: Did I say long winded? I meant long torsoed. You know how hard it is for me to find shirts that fit.
B&c: I didn't take issue with the poorly dressed part.

Also, please enjoy these pictures of men doing one of my very favorite things.

I could look at pictures of men kissing all day long. Somewhere there must be specialty gay porn that involves mostly making out. I must find it. I used to chat with a young man who briefly dated a young East Texan who worked in the Bush (Dubya) White House. The shame of dating a deeply closeted (quelle surprise) Republican soon forced him to stop seeing the guy, but before he called it off he reported to me that the Texan was so inexperienced and horny that he would ejaculate just from making out. While he was still clothed. Twice in a session.

The closest thing to gay porn that I've bought recently is Shiner, a movie that explores the erotic aspects of consensual physical abuse. I'm not all the way through it yet, but what I've seen of it is certainly memorable. And erotic. In fact, I'm a bit disturbed by just how aroused I get watching guys get aroused by being beat up. It's all fantasy, of course: I don't enjoy pain in the least. I do enjoy spanking guys who enjoy being spanked, but I won't leave marks, let alone scars.

Too many people don't understand that most fantasies are most powerful when they never move beyond the realm of the imagination. Many of these people end up chatting with me and promising scenes of intense submission that they don't realize they will never be able to follow through on. I spent some time chatting with just such a young man yesterday afternoon. He told me he wanted to be used and he wanted it rough. I humored him until he told me that he wasn't into kissing, and then I explained to him that what all of the so-called bi submissive like him want is to be forced to kiss so that they can enjoy it while pretending that they didn't have a choice. He agreed with me, but he said that he still needed to be forced. I used to get annoyed with these people, but now I just feel sorry for anyone who doesn't appreciate the joy of hot man-on-man osculation.


Will said...

I can't quite wrap my mind around a guy not wanting to kiss another man, but that's because I'm addicted to it and have no objectivity on the subject at all.

As for B&C's liking to see the gods perish in fire for six hours (actually, they wait fearfully for six hours and the actual perishing happens in maybe 20 bars of music), I'm addicted to that as well.

We won't even talk about chocolate . . . .

D-Man said...

No, no, noooooooooo! Not shorter! (and I'm not referring to dick size...)

I have a confession to make. I enjoy your writing. Quite a lot. Your blend of intelligence and irreverent humor keep me coming back despite the fact (and I'm so sorry for this...) that I'm not really into the entries detailing the craigslist hookups.

And although the pics you post are undeniably hot, hot, hot - I have seen enough internet porn to last a lifetime (call me jaded). I enjoy them (a lot), but they're not the reason I read your blog.

I find it in quite bad taste that someone would anonymously criticize your blog writing. If they don't enjoy your writing, no one is twisting their bloody fucking arm to read it.

So here I am, trying to tell you - with my unorganized thoughts and disjointed sentence structure - that I appreciate and admire your writing. And even though it is at times like reading an intelligent version of Hustler, I know that my Dad may have been right when he told my mom he only read 'those magazines' for the articles...

Anonymous said...

I wrote the comment about you being long winded. I didn't mean to upset you as I just wanted to point it out to you. This is your blog so I feel you should do what you desire. I try to get through some of your posts but they are a little long and I would assume I am not the only one to pick up on this. Didn't mean it to be personal.