The title of this post, readers, is no more relevant to my life than are today's pictures to today's content. It (the title, that is -- if I have never before issued a blanket apology for my occasionally horrific pronoun reference, pray let me do so now; I'm sorry; now get over it, ok?) does, however refer to the attainment of a small goal.
Many months ago, I wrote about Danny Sommers and in particular about a Danny Sommers video that was seminal (oh shut up) in the awakening of my homosexual identity. I lamented the fact that I no longer had the (VHS) video and my inability to find the title by googling based on my recollections of its content. And then, last night, after I'd sent YFU off to bed and during station breaks for Project Runway, I was going through my huge stack of old mail -- sorting it into the keep, toss, and shred piles -- and there were several of the semi-monthly circulars I get from a particular porn distribution house. I decided to go online and order some cheap porn, and while I was there, I used their search function, and (lo! and behold!) there was a list of Danny Sommers video (boy spent a lot of time on his back), including Crossroads, the very video I have long sought.
I won't mention the site I found it on because a) that would be too much like advertising, and why do that if no one's compensating me? and b) the site said that they had only limited copies of Crossroads remaining (it has been transferred to DVD: huzzah!), and I don't want anyone else going and buying my copy out from under me. Call me paranoid, but if you hear a loud, piercing scream emanating from the general direction of our nation's capital, you will know that I've gotten an email telling me that they didn't have it in stock after all, and, well: oops!
Ordering old porn carries some risk, of course. Even at the time I saw Crossroads, I recognized the horrible acting and worse production values, and it's entirely possible that I'll get it, watch it, and be disappointed. This is a risk with any sort of movie. I still remember when I bought the DVD of Diva. Diva first came out when I was in college, and I walked across the river four times to see it in the theater, and I thought it was the best movie ever, and then, years later, it was available on DVD, and I ordered it, and it arrived, and I put it in the DVD player and turned it on, and OMG! (Interjections show excitement or emotion: they're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.) it was still the best movie ever! In fact, if you haven't seen it, I insist that you stop whatever you're doing and go find it and see it right now. Do not eat, drink, or sleep until you have accomplished this. Especially if you have a big screen so that you can appreciate all the visual yumminess and read the subtitles. I wonder whether Thuy An Luu still roller skates.
Did I have a point here? Oh yeah: Crossroads is not likely to be Diva. But I'm still stoked about having found it. I may have ordered some other DVDs as well, but only to get the quantity discount.
By the way, I had a thoroughly unsatisfying experience Monday night. A mid-twenties fellow had said that he wanted to explore submission for the first time, and he drove all the way over from Northern Virginia, and he was very nice looking, though maybe a little too cute and too young and too tall (6'3, which works best for me if the guy's over fifty) for me. And everything was fine, and we'd been making out some, and I'd been working his nipples, and I had him halfway undressed and pinned down to the bed, but then I got up and put the blindfold on him, and he totally freaked out and practically ran down the stairs and out the door, though not before apologizing for wasting my time. Hey, I'm not the one who drove all the way the fuck over from Alexandria. Guys like that who want to explore submission should really date a nice top guy for a few weeks and then ask that guy to tie them to the bedposts. I worry about the younger generation of submissives and dominants, though. The transition was relatively easy for me because the first time someone asked me to tie him up, I had a closet full of old neckties, so I only had to go a few feet and spend a few seconds to prepare. Who wears enough ties anymore to have a stock of old ones around? Lawyers, I guess, but the last thing this world needs is dominant lawyers. Anyway, if you're thinking of being a dom (or a sub) sometime in the future, I recommend a trip to your local thrift shop, where you can pick up any number of old neckties at a very reasonable price. They'll be ugly as sin, of course, but when you need to use them, it'll likely be pretty dark, and your mind will be otherwise too occupied to notice. You really don't want to invest in restraints until you're sure you'll use them, and rope is intimidating to the beginner. Also: rope burns are very unpleasant and easy to get/cause if you don't know what you're doing.
Clearly I was very bad in a former life:
Tom here at the Bijou Video order desk. We received your online order for Assablanca, Crossroads, The Roommate.
I am sorry but we are out of stock on these titles at this time. We will place an order with the distributors to get them for you.
Please allow 3 - 4 weeks for this selection to arrive and I will email you again when it is ready to ship.
Ok, Tom. I'm really, really busy right now, so you get a month. After that, I hunt you down. Don't even think you can come between me and my erotic history, dude.