Whole Lotta Nothin', Midweek Edition

I seem to be back in low-libido land again. I blame the family reunion. Fortunately, b&c seems to have gotten so much sex from his temporary Nicaraguan houseboy (who is very hot) that he is happy to cuddle. Or maybe he's just exhausted. I suspect the situation will be very different three weeks from now when he's home from Haiti, where he says there are no safe opportunities for sex. But maybe by then I'll have eaten some read meat or something.

It is very strange to be living with a man who is gone more than he's home. It suits me that he's away regularly, but not so much that he's away irregularly. It adds to the general sense of instability that is the birthright of everyone who lives in the constant-flux modern age. I blame capitalism. For everything.

I'll be spending next week back in the southwestern part of Pennsylvania, where I always feel much more in step with the natural world. Sadly, my plans for the week have been thrown into turmoil by the fact that apples do not self-pollinate. I had been aware that they do not always self-pollinate but not that they almost never do. I will spend much time walking in the mountains, regretting this biological insult, and then I will decide to buy six-year-old trees with the varieties I want grafted to semi-dwarf stock. One plays the hand one is dealt.


Last weekend, my mother again castigated me for not having written a book yet. My mother doesn't read for pleasure and knows nothing about publishing, but she is certain that I should by now have written a book. Probably several. I considered giving her the URL of The Neighbors Will Hear, but that seemed unwise: my parents have only a dial-up connection. I suspect that my mother is motivated by her vast dissatisfaction with her own life and a desire to have me not feel the same dissatisfaction with my own life. It is not within my power to explain to my mother that or why I am happy. Sometimes I would like to let her know how much I have learned about how not to live by her example, but there is no kind way to convey that, and there is no getting around the fact that a positive example would have been better and more efficient.

Sometimes the obvious is utterly opaque to me. It had not, for example, occurred to me that I could buy a CD wallet/case for DVD storage until my sister mentioned it last week. I have now ordered two such wallets with rather large storage capacities. I reckon that one of them will be for porn and that I will now have license to continue buying porn until that wallet is filled. Woohoo.