Friday, December 14, 2007


I was referring, in another venue, to the sexiness that is Steven Rosengard. Steven was dismissed from Project Runway Wednesday night, and while I probably won't miss his designs, I'll certainly miss him. Other guys were hotter, but he was the one I'd most want to shag. Anyway, another person in this other venue opined that Steven was not sexy at all; rather, he was "just a geek."

Say what? Just a geek? I don't get how anyone can dismiss geeks out of hand. It's true that a great many types of guys look good to me, but there's something clandestinely smokin' about the skinny, pale, bespectacled, bashful type that makes me want to get to know his innermost secrets. Or at least his insides.

I suspect that most of the discomfort many gays feel with geeks comes from the memory of not fitting in as a youth. And from the continuing fear of not fitting in. I think that's the reason for so much herd behavior among the young adult gays: having finally found a segment of society that accepts them, they are loath to do anything that would separate them from the pack. And, really, there's nothing wrong with that: who wants to be eaten by lions?

Fortunately, lions are rare in suburban Maryland, so herd behavior is not so much a necessity as a habit. Like wearing suits to the office. Which, fortunately, I have not had to do for years.

Anyway, in addition to the whole skinny (but without muscle definition) and pale thing that I am, inexplicably, turned on by, I find people who don't fit in very compelling. What, after all, are you likely to learn from talking with or fucking someone exactly like you? Don't misunderstand: there's nothing wrong with the comfort of familiarity. But there's also a place for the unfamiliar, the exotic, and the challenging.

Geeks are generally very passionate about something. It's almost always something I don't know anything about, but if you can get past the fact that they often have trouble making themselves understood, be a little patient, and get them talking about what they love, their excitement is illuminating and contagious. You may also find them equally passionate in other areas.

And, for the most part, they're good guys. Insecure, certainly, and there's the other reason many people don't like them: nothing is less attractive than insecurity. There again, I think it's mostly that we see our own insecurity reflected back at us. But I still believe that most guys who are visibly insecure are good people: the bad ones learn to compensate. Hidden insecurity is what you really need to watch out for.

When you get a geek in bed, you'll often find an inexperienced playmate and someone who is not used to thinking all that much about his body. But the inexperience, if you're patient with it, is accompanied by an eagerness to explore and an ability to learn quickly. Geeks take direction very well. And the energy that comes with a new discovery of someone's physicality and sexuality is potent and exciting.

But in the end, if you don't like them, you don't like them. And that's ok: more for me!

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