Saturday, December 22, 2007

Sweet Merciful Crap

I assume, readers, that you know that when I say
like I said, I have a lengthy to do list (of chores, if not boys), so I'm not going to put a lot of time or effort into procuring more hook-ups

what I really mean is something more along the lines of
I'm going to post an ad on craigslist and maybe hang out for a bit on gay.com, but if nothing suitable comes along, I'm going to get some work done around the house and not be upset about it.

Anyway, the cl responses were oddly slow in coming. Normally, I get a number of decent responses in the first ten minutes the ad is up, leading me to believe that there is a sizable number of people who eschew hanging out on gay.com so that they can refresh the screen on craigslist. Since it had been a couple of hours and there was no response whatsoever, I figured I'd hop on gay.com for a bit, and before long, Geraldo was hitting me up. I'd never met Geraldo, but we'd chatted a couple of times before. He lives in Bethesda, and I work in Bethesda, so it seemed like we ought to be able to make a nooner work sometime. The problem had been that while Bethesda is not that big a place, it's not that small, either, and the traffic is vicious. Anyway, it was 3, and it was Friday, and he wanted me to come over, so I figured I'd cut out early and go play with him. He said he was free until about 4:30: we could play for an hour, then I could still get home early enough to work on the house or do some shopping.

Traffic was more vicious than usual on Friday, so I didn't make it to his apartment building until 3:30. As he'd requested, I called him from the parking lot to let him know I'd arrived. He said something about how at least we'd have time to meet each other. Uh huh. When he let me in the apartment, I grabbed him and started to kiss him. Geraldo is a compact Latino with very nice, full lips, and he's a great kisser. I pretty quickly started twisting both his nipples through his shirt, and he said, "You're aggressive, aren't you? I like that."

He kept trying to get me to sit down on the couch, and I kept playing with his nipples and pushing him towards his bedroom. He told me that he was worried about his uncle coming home, and I kept pulling on his clothes. He told me not to take my clothes off, and I threw him down on the bed. He told me we had to be careful, and I straddled him and continued making out. He said again that I was very aggressive, and I pushed him towards my crotch. He unzipped me and pulled my cock out and started going down on me. Excellent oral technique. He kept telling me that my cock was really big. As usual, I said, "Thanks," but inside, I was saying, "Whatever."

He was obviously very nervous about his uncle/roommate coming home, but he was equally into what I was doing to him. He really started to melt when I bent him over the bed and wedged my cock up next to his asshole and leaned forward to kiss him.

But caution won out. He asked me whether I could come back. He said if his uncle wasn't home by 5, it would mean he wouldn't come home at all that night, and then we could play. I told him that I could host, and when he said that he didn't have a car, I told him I could pick him up, and bring him home, he asked whether he could stay the night. I told him I had too much to do, but that I'd bring him home. I was pretty worked up, and I really wanted to finish him off, but I figured that if he didn't call me later in the afternoon, it would be no great loss. I felt even more that way when I got back to the office and found an answer to my CL ad from Tim.

Tim said he was 28, Asian, 5'7 and wanted to learn to be my slave. He said that he had no experience with kink or even with bottoming but that he was very turned on by my ad. Despite his lack of experience, the offer seemed too good to pass up, especially since he didn't want to come over until about 9, and I figured that I'd be done with Geraldo by then, especially if we were playing at his place. I gave Tim my number and told him to call me after 7.

Geraldo did call me back to say that his uncle had come home and that we'd have to play at my place. I told him I was on my way. I picked him up, and he kissed me when he got in the car. Then he started showing off his navigation/GPS device. It seemed weird to me that you'd have something like that if you didn't drive, but he was very proud of his toy. When he told me that it had cost about $400, though, I said, "I could buy a lot of porn with $400." He didn't think that was funny.

Geraldo kept telling me what a nice guy I was, and it became clear to me that even though he'd originally contacted me about a hookup, he was thinking of this as a date. I get a little put out when guys can't be bothered to read enough of my profile to know that I'm not looking to date, but he was being very nice about it, so I just explained my situation to him. He seemed a little crushed, which was odd under the circumstances.

Anyway, it took a long time to get home, and he asked me a lot of questions and told me about himself, and he seemed like a really nice guy. I wanted to jump him as soon as we got inside, but he asked for a drink. I went to get him a beer, but he asked what else we had, so I showed him the closet with the liquor shelf, and he lit up like Christmas. He pulled down the bottle of Amaretto. It seemed a weird choice to me, but I took two wine glasses and poured a small amount in each. He asked me to pour him more, so I poured him about four ounces, which, much to my amazement, he drained in a swallow. Then he asked for more. I was all "Dude, slow down, it's Amaretto: you're supposed to sip it," but he wasn't listening, so I pushed him towards the stairs. He grabbed his glass and took it with him.

I had him naked, and we'd been making out for a while when he said he needed another drink. I offered him my glass, and he drained it, too. We went at it for a little while longer, and he wanted more. I'd been at work all day, and I really wanted to wash the nether regions before moving in for the fuck, so I told him to go downstairs and get a refill while I showered.

When I'd finished drying myself off, I went back to play with him some more, and he told me he needed to talk to me. I said "OK," and I went for his nipple. He said, "No, you're not listening," and I replied, "I'm exceptionally talented at multitasking. I can very easily listen to you and work on your nipple." So I sucked on his nip for a bit while he started to tell me that he wasn't going to let me fuck him because I have a partner. He said he had to be that way "out of respect for your partner." I, naturally, said, "My partner would be cheering us on if he were here," but he started in on a long explanation of how he was and how he didn't want this just to be sex. Even though, you understand, he'd asked for and advertised for sex.

I was a little tired of listening to him talk. He seemed like a nice guy, but he was trying to tell me that he wasn't good at separating sex and affection, and I already got that. I tried telling him that I understood that there are people who can fool around without problems and people who can't, and that I was willing to accept the fact that he wasn't. I wasn't even annoyed that he'd misrepresented what he wanted and that I'd driven him all over the place because he was fairly entertaining when he wasn't explaining or apologizing or telling me that he knew I was mad, but he kept doing all three of those things for the next hour, while we got dressed and I took him home. And, on the way, while he made me stop at Dairy Queen to buy him something to eat and while he stopped the person making the food before she made it to say that he didn't want anything after all, but not before I had a cone much larger than I thought I'd ordered. He wouldn't eat any of my cone, either. He said he didn't want me spending money on him. Then he spent the next ten minutes asking me to buy him various things, all of which I said no to with a laugh. I'm still not sure whether he was serious. Then he borrowed my cell phone (because it makes more sense to spend $400 on a GPS device you don't need than to pay for, say, a cell phone) so that he could call various members of his family, all of whom told him that he really shouldn't be drinking. He was getting more and more boisterous as more and more of the Amaretto kicked in.

Seriously: what the fuck? Who gets smashed on Amaretto? Between what I poured for him and what he drank while I was in the shower, the dude drank half of a 700 ml bottle of Amaretto di Saronno.

Anyway, he never got violent or crazy or anything, so I was still halfway between amused (I mean, at least it makes a good story, right? And even after he said I couldn't fuck him, he still wanted to make out some, and he really does have great lips. Plus, he kept telling me what a great kisser I am, and even though I know that's true, I still like hearing it.) and incredulous. I finally got him home just before nine. After I'd kissed him goodbye, he told me he loved me when he got out of the car.

There's only one thing to say in situations like that: "Next!"

Tim had called me when I was still with Geraldo, and I hadn't taken the call. I felt kind of bad about that, and I figured I'd blown my chances, but I called him back, anyway. I'm not sure where he's from, but his English is, well, recent. He said it was too late and that he was way up in Germantown (rather than Rockville, where he'd been before), but I told him that he should still come over so I could teach him a few things. If a guy wants to be your slave, you might as well give orders, right? He said he'd call me back in ten minutes. I figured it was an excuse, but I also figured I deserved it, so I didn't let it bother me. Twenty minutes later, when I was pulling into the driveway, he called me back. I gave him the address and directions, and he said he'd call when he was leaving. Another twenty minutes later he called, and said he was on his way. Where he was coming from is a hike, so even though he said twenty-five minutes, I figured forty.

I spent the time getting the ropes and restraints ready and looking for shit. I have a toolbox for my toys, but stuff gets scattered. I know we used the blindfold at our holiday party, but I don't know where it ended up after that. I finally located the tit clamps in one of my jacket pockets. Don't ask. I made a replacement blindfold by taking an old ratty t-shirt and cutting the bottom few inches off it. When it was doubled and stretched (I tested it), you could see a little through it, but I figured it'd be good enough.

When Tim arrived and I let him in the door, I was a bit taken aback by how cute he was. Not handsome, but cute. He's 28, but he's Asian, so he looks really young. Short, smooth, innocent (looking, anyway), with big big lips. Naturally, I started kissing him as he stood there, and the lips were as soft as they were big. I'm much too sensible to have a dream houseboy, of course, but if I had a dream houseboy, Tim would be it. I was very excited.

As he'd said, Tim was very inexperienced with being dominated. And given his rudimentary English, there wasn't much talking. I kissed him and squeezed his nipples for a bit, then I pushed him towards the stairs. When he was too stairs up, I grabbed the back of his pants and pulled them down to expose half his ass. Then I pushed him upstairs and onto the bed.

He really went with the flow and took everything I threw at him. He's asked me, via email, not to be too rough with him, so I only spanked him with my hand rather than the belt. And I only tugged hard on his nuts rather than affixing clothespins to them. And instead of chewing on his nips for too long, I just put the clamps on and left them there.

He stayed hard, so I guess he was having a good time. God knows I was. I eventually put the blindfold on him, and that made him somewhat more animated. When I pushed his head towards my cock, I discovered that while he might not have been fucked, he'd obviously had plenty of experience sucking cock. He was good at it.

There was a lot of kissing throughout, and eventually, I turned him around so that he could go down on me while I ate his truly magnificent ass. He seemed to have a bit of trouble processing that much stimulation, but he managed to suck cock pretty well even with my tongue in him.

I knew from my initial finger probing that I was dealing with an unusually tight (and unused) ass. After some more kissing, during which I let him suck his precum off my fingers, I grabbed some lube and started probing.

Tim never complained, he just moaned and sighed and occasionally jumped. I went in with a single finger, and he mumbled a bit, and then when I took it out and then pushed it back in and went for the prostate, he shook a little bit. He went back and forth between semi-firm and fully erect, and he leaked a lot of precum, and I eventually got a second and then third finger in him, but it took a while. When I had three in him, he asked me whether I was using fingers and how many. He seemed surprised and pleased that he could take three.

As much as I was enjoying all this, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of fucking him. It was really tough getting the third finger in, and I need to be able to get four in before my cock can slide in with any amount of ease. He scooted away from the third finger, and he might have gotten off the three fingers entirely had I not had the foresight to put the wrist restraints on him and tie his wrists to the corners of the bed first.

When I took my fingers out and walked over to the sink to wash my hands, he asked whether there was blood or "dirty," and I assured him that I just wanted to do something else for a while. He was, in fact, extremely clean. I just didn't want lube all over my hands.

I kept him tied up and licked the tip of his nipple between the pieces of the nipple clamp. He jumped some more, and we kissed for a while more, and I started to play with his cock. Tiny and very responsive. I teased him for a while, getting him close and then backing off, and he never complained. Eventually, I decided to stroke him off. He's 28, after all, so he should be able to cum at least twice. And he was tied up, so he wasn't going anywhere.

I was kissing him the whole time I brought him off. Then I left him there and sat on the other end of the bed, with my calves around his thighs, to play with myself. His body started twisting, and he started looking very unhappy and asking for me to loosen one of his wrists. I let it out of the restraint, and he contorted and held his side tightly. Sort of like you'd probably do if you had appendicitis. Uh oh. I let him out of the other restraint, and he started to apologize profusely and said that he needed to use the bathroom. I was starting to freak out a little at the possibility of having to take a young'un to the ER and explain what we'd been doing (I couldn't help wondering whether I'd caused a problem when I rubbed that ice cube all over his torso and then stuck it up his ass, but it's never caused anyone else any problems.), but when he got out of the bathroom, he said that while it was extremely painful, it was something that had happened before. When he'd had major school exams, for example. He said the tension causes some sort of problem in his intestines and that it's very painful. He apologized yet more and said he needed to go. I was so happy that it wasn't a ruptured appendix, that I really wasn't upset that he had to leave. Hell, he was obviously in great distress. I probably should have offered to take him to the hospital, but he said he'd be all right. It took him twenty minutes to get dressed an out the door because he had to stop constantly to clutch his side and bend over. He said he'd call me again another time. I think he meant it, but I reckon that a night of excruciating pain might change his mind. Fucking intestines. I'd certainly enjoy a repeat, with a further intensifying of our play (sans intestinal blockage, of course), but, as always, I expect nothing.

Anyway, it was great fun, but it definitely wasn't a happy ending. At least for me. I was pretty tired, and I hadn't been planning on playing for much longer anyway, but watching a guy hunched over in pain as he leaves makes me wonder if I'm going to have to change my answer to all those guys who tell me they don't want it too rough. "I am intense," I say, "but I haven't injured anyone. Yet."

Fortunately, this morning's session with the married sub more than made up for Friday night's missteps. But you must know by now that I'm going to make you wait for another post to tell you about that one.

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