Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Abstinence Is Really Less of a Virtue if No One Wants To Have Sex with You

I may have said, recently, that I wouldn't be posting any political and/or craigslist-relted posts for a while. Since I apparently lied, here's a gratuitous picture, as preemptive penance.

There are so many categories in craigslist! Who knew? In fact, you can even put ads up there if you want to sell something, like that hideous foldout sofa that wasn't fashionable thirty years ago when your partner bought it. Just a hypothetical example with no real world significance, of course.

Anyway, getting beyond the "men seeking men" and the "missed connections" brings you to categories like "misc romance." Right now, in the m4m subcategory of misc romance in the DC area, there's one ad. The picture above is not from that guy's ad. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the guy looks nothing like the picture above. Not that you should care about what he looks like when his ad is so very appealing:

Right-winger… - m4m - 50

Reply to:
Date: 2007-07-15, 5:38PM EDT

Libertarian, specifically, but just about anything right of center will work. I can be friends - haven’t had much choice until moving here - but really not simpatico with liberal Democrats…and I don’t want one for a partner. And I definitely want a partner.

I don’t want to talk politics all the time. To do it right requires more time and motivation than I can come up with but the vast majority of my non-fiction reading has been from Libertarian sources. So I’m not a political junkie but one’s proximate home on the political spectrum general reflects a larger worldview.

I pretty much loathe gay culture. I thought this thing was supposed to be about masculinity. Not to mention the tired, herd mannerisms and outlook. The noisy gay culture may have moved tolerance along, but I’m not sure about that. It probably was going to happen anyway and sometimes I think it happened IN SPITE of gay shrieking.

I don’t want sex with strangers, I like to kiss and I want to sleep with my best friend, the guy I love.

I like architecture, especially civil engineering, day trips, gardens, romance movies and comedies (good ones, meaning the ones that work for me), dogs, the West in the summer and regular acting guys with sunny dispositions and easy smiles. I like to read (comes in handy when sloth beckons) and just spend time with my guy.

I’m positive but very healthy. I’m 50 but through some weird genetic injustice and years of working out, I’m holding up pretty well per the drooping skin issue. I’m looking for someone around my age…generally a positive outlook but not oblivious about the disquieting assaults on that outlook that life hurls at one and at others.

On the career front I’ve been a loser - by my standards. It took me a LONG time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. But I’m in school and OK with my (extremely) modest station in life.

I don’t like email correspondence so if you would like to follow up, send me a couple of lines and a phone number.

Even though it isn’t particularly apparent here, I’m not entirely without a sense of humor.

So let's recap. Here's a fifty-year-old, unemployed or underemployed, lonely gay man who doesn't like other gay men (hence the loneliness, perhaps?). You couldn't take this guy to see the Pride parade because he'd spend all his time castigating the talent. Some fun. You know, I totally get the idea of being fed up with the scene. I don't do the scene, but I'm glad it's there for people who enjoy it. It would be kind of silly for me to think that my rights are somehow affected because there are guys enjoying the saliva pit at Blowoff.

But our Libertarian friend -- in addition to making your political orientation a criteria for his affection but refusing to discuss politics with you -- here clearly sees the world in stereotypes. Plus, you'd probably have to commit to him before he'd be willing to have sex, and it's a safe bet that he's a vanilla top who kisses like a cocker spaniel. But that's okay because he likes to kiss, so you'll be doing it all the time! (Good boy!) And, hey, if you've always wanted a guy to read Ayn Rand to you while you go down on him (for days!), here's your man. No need to thank me. I just hope you don't mind that you'll always have to pick up the check.

It should go without saying, but this tool lives in Northern Virginia.

By the way, I would like to go on record as saying that I have nothing against guys who are 50 (or considerably older), underemployed, positive, or vanilla. Libertarians, however, are another story. Also, I would like to go on record as saying that I have nothing (whatsoever) against the idea of making out with DurbanBud, though I would much prefer to do so in a private setting. (His partner can watch and/or join in.) Not that he's offered. Bitch.

1 comment:

Kevin said...

Is that you, or just a generic Craigslist shot?

If it's you, my address is ...