Monday, July 16, 2007

It Never Takes More Than a Sixpack

Oh for the love of Cthulhu. I'm trying to get something done at the office, really I am. But how am I supposed to concentrate on work when shit like this appears in the missed connections?

Ball Room Fri....... OOPS !!!! w4m m4w w4w m4m - m4w

Reply to:
Date: 2007-07-16, 2:04PM EDT

So I went out, not looking to go on a bender, but it happened! Stopped at my usual Friday watering hole, had a couple of brews and a bite to eat, then decided to go see some friends working at a bar downtown. Had only 3 drinks there and decided to head home. On the way home I decided to stop in at one last bar close to home to see another friend.

The next thing I remember I woke up in my bed half naked with my front door cracked open and my keys sitting on the floor by the door (I live in a condo building so that really wasn't smart).

(NOTE: I WAS NOT DRIVING! I took a cab downtown and back and walked/stumbled/crawled home)

I did not think I had that much to drink, really, but I do not remember leaving the last bar or going home. I do not know if I was forced to leave the bar or not, but I know I did something because I have beer stains all over my shirt that were not there when I walked into the place. However, I am pretty sure I paid because the last of my cash was gone and they didn't charge my card (most likely my friend took my cash and paid for me)!

Oh, and to top it all off I took a header somewhere. I have a lump on my head, I lost my sunglasses and my pants and shirt with beer stains all over also were covered in dirt and black marks. Again, don't remember where this happened; in the bar or on the drunken stumble home. If the latter, I hope it was in the grass and on a curb and not the middle of street.

So to those people, both employees and the clientel, at the last bar, I do apologize for my antics, what ever they may have been. I had no intention of getting that beligerant Friday night. I am too old (35) to behave like that and be blacking out. Not to mention it is not safe either, well the blacking out part - we all deserve a bender here and there. I will stay away for a while just to redeem myself and hope that you forget me the next time I come in (not likely though, the bouncer always remembers me, but not the bartenders)

Oh and please, to the holier than now's out there - No I do not have a drinking problem. Benders like this are rare for me, much less do I ever have that much to drink anymore. I had a shitty week and had been couped up in my condo doing renovations the last few weekends and wanted to get out and see the few people I know in this city.

Ok, I feel better now!

Naturally, I felt compelled to write to this poor, tortured soul. I mean, if you're going to use the MC as a confessional, somebody's got to give you your penance, right? And before y'all go whinging about how I made up the stuff that I wrote in my email, keep in mind that the guy was drunk and dirty, and somebody else almost certainly did the things I'm writing about. But that guy won't read the ad, so it falls to me to be his stand-in.

Anyway, the e-mail:

So after I found you walking the streets and we went to the park and made sweet, sweet love in the dirt and I dragged your ass into a cab and took you home and put you in bed and fucked you senseless, and you told me I was the best you'd ever had and begged me to run off with you to Costa Rica, you have the nerve to say you remember nothing?

You bottoms are all the same. Bitch.

Really, I promise there will be a non-craigslist-related post in the near future. But there's just so much material! Like

JRs Sunday Night-You Gave Me the Finger - m4m - 34

Reply to:
Date: 2007-07-15, 11:25PM EDT

You gave me the finger as you were walking downstairs from the bathroom. Didn't recognize you, but I'm sure I did something at some point to piss you off. What's the deal?

Geez. Some drunk guy flips you off. Sensitive much?


lost lover - m4m - 66

Reply to:
Date: 2007-07-14, 6:48PM EDT

Looking for ex-partner left Lansing, Mi to go to Washington, DC about 6-8 years ago.Jeff, get back to me!Larry

Well, okay, that last one's either a joke or just very, very sad. I should send the guy some nice mustard.

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