Wednesday, November 28, 2007


After yesterday's drama-laden post, I thought that today I'd post some snippets interspersed with pictures of attractive Asian men. The reason I chose Asian men today may or may not become apparent, but the fact that I find them handsome should be reason enough.

I can't explain the fascination I have (or anyone else has) for Asian men. I'm tempted to say that gay men fall into two classes: those attracted to men like themselves and those attracted to men unlike themselves. And I'm further tempted to claim that men attracted to those unlike themselves are so attracted because of their broader outlook on life in general. But that line of reasoning fails for (at least) two reasons. First, I don't believe you can help what turns you on. Second, I'm very much into guys both like and unlike myself. It's true that, on an intellectual level, I would (if I were in the dating market, which I am not) prefer to date non-Americans because I'd get a more interesting world view. On a visceral level, however, give me a good set of lips, a responsive body, and the desire to use them, and race just doesn't matter to me.

Speaking of Asian men, this Monday morning, I had to go downtown to a meeting with a client. I'm almost certain that the controller, who is Chinese, was flirting with me after the meeting. I can't think of any way to find out for certain that wouldn't be unprofessional, though. And it doesn't really matter. If I saw him on, I'd do in a minute (and for two hours). But if you take even the sexiest man in the world and make him an accountant (that I have to do business with), all the fire drains from my loins. Once you've talked about the DC unincorporated business tax with a guy, you can't picture him naked. Alas.

When my friend George (along with his #1 boyfriend) was over this weekend, I was talking about how I'd been trying to get just the right cutout shape for hunky gingerbread men. I happened to mention that I'd gotten the muscle guy shape right but that I was still working on the thinner shape for the Buddhist monk gingerbread cookies. In response, he mentioned that his #3 boyfriend is thinking about becoming a Buddhist monk. I was all, "Dude. In a couple of years, it's possible that you will have slept with a Buddhist monk! Do you know how I fantasize about that?" I am bright green with envy. I may have to hide all the Buddhist monk cookies from him at the party. And eat them myself.

I'm thinking that getting a nice saffron color for the royal icing for the Buddhist monk cookies might be challenging. But I'll manage. Or I'll just put them in Speedos like the muscle men. I think that monks should embrace the Speedo, anyway. Nothing says humility like putting your twig and berries out there for me the world to see.

I didn't get home until almost 8 last night, so b&c had already started dinner when I came in the door. I grabbed him and started making out with him and told him I wasn't really hungry and that I would see him when I was done with my shower. Don't breeders commonly have sex that lasts fifteen minutes or less? I was doing my best to move things along, but we still went for forty-five minutes. When we were lying their afterwards, we had a brief conversation:
B&c: I guess I should make dinner.
TED: God, yes. I'm starving.
B&c: But you said you weren't hungry.
TED: I never had lunch today. "I'm not hungry" doesn't mean "I'm not hungry." "I'm not hungry" means "I'm starving, but I'm hornier than I am hungry." Haven't you ever heard of priorities?
B&c: You're crazy.


jason said...

TED, you feel starved because you are such a giver all the time.

The Neighbors Will Hear said...

I was raised Southern Baptist and taught that it is more blessed to give than to receive. I've done my best to follow that advice, at least when dealing intimately with my fellow man.